T-M-I from T-I-M

Paralysis vs Vulnerability

I was chatting with a friend today and I realized how much I missed the beauty and rewards of blogging.  Admittedly, when I first started doing this, I shared EVERYTHING.  And a year or two ago, I un-published (is that a word??) a thread of posts that were way too revealing.

I feel like as soon as I took that step, I quickly skidded downhill to a point where I didn't feel like I should share anything.  Or even worse, that perhaps I need to be "right on" or "moving" with each post.  My arch nemesis ego moved in swiftly and without remorse to cut me off.  I started to become a slave to my "personal brand" as its called, which to me is a euphemism for ego.

I fear vulnerability, I'm not unique that way.  But it's amazing how this fear increaseed since I stopped blogging.

Given my wide reaching audience of 3-5 people, I realize that my main audience started as and is only myself.  If it so happens to reach or touch anyone else, great!  (And my experience has been that it has, in the most unexpected of ways.)

But if it doesn't, it's ok, because I realize that I blog to bring more love into the world, and that's about me and my actions.

I start from today and do my best from there.  It's not always pretty, but it is my journey.

New Blog: One New Thing A Week

A good friend of mine and a former co-worker just started a new blog.  The idea is really cool.  Basically, she's committed to trying one new thing per week in SF and then write about it.

I think it's a great way to live up to a commitment to get out there and do things.  It also doesn't hurt that she's way cool and interesting (albeit a total goofball now and again, but I can forgive her for that).

Welcome to the blogosphere Nicole!

Check it out here.

Another 100 Topics to Blog On

Back in 2006 I wrote a blog with 100 Blog Topic Suggestions.  I decided to give it a try again with fresh topics.

1. What does not having a soul mean?
2. How do you reconcile happiness with real life?
3. What used to make you really happy that doesn't anymore?
4. Why do you think as we age we look upon youth as paradise when we all know being young was tough?
5. If you could have any late night talk show host (dead or alive) do the only show who would it be and why?
6. Would you ever run for politics?
7. Do you have an ideal that you would die for?
8. If you're not a parent, how does it feel to see or hear about experiences from parents with their kids?
9. If you are a parent, name 3 reasons why you would prefer to go back to not having children?
10. Describe your ultimate party mix.
11. Would you prefer eternal love or eternal peace?
12. Why should anyone new to blogging get into it?
13. Who was your favorite sports team growing up and why?
14. What one thing do you look forward to most for the rest of your life?
15. Does death scare you and why or why not?
16. Will soccer ever be a major sport in the US?
17. What type of event do you dread going to but you still do?
18. Do you still practice your religion the same way you used to growing up?
19. If you don't follow  a religion can you imagine getting back into it?
20. What 5 things go the best with peanut butter?
21. If what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, why don't we look for more negative experiences?
22. Who in your life was supposed to be an inspiration but wasn't?
23. Describe your first slow dance and your first kiss with someone you felt "in love" with.
24. Have you ever really made love and if so describe it?
25. Do we need hate to have love?
26. If you could have one author from any time as a roommate for one year who would it be and why?
27. What story would you write if you could write a children's book?
28. If you could choose 6 subjects that are core curriculum for schools, what would they be?
29. Why don't we respect our elders?
30. Who comes first, second and third in your life?
31. What book moved you to tears?
32. What book was worse than the movie when it came out?
33. Describe your ultimate breakfast lunch and dinner.
34. What do you regret most in life?
35. What do you want most in life?
36. What do you ache for?
37. Describe a few words that are way overused and why it irks you.
38. Take a position on any political issue.
39. If you aren't up with politics, talk about why you aren't.
40. Is the UFC better than boxing?
41. Should there be a women's professional basketball league?
42. When do you feel most at peace and is it reliable to have that effect?
43. Is there anyone in sports announcing who truly does something new?
44. If you could host any show on TV which would it be?
45. What evil historical figure are you most curious about?
46. If you, 30 years from now could talk to you today, what would you 30 years from now say?
47. What song has made you cry the most and are you ok listening to it today?
48. Describe the first time death entered your life (family, friends, etc) and how have you grown from it or learned to handle death better.
49. Do you believe all of the depictions of the ghettos?
50. If you could join any mythical mafia family from movies, which one would it be and why?
51. How do you react when you see a parent doing something to their child that you would never do?
52. Describe your first childbirth.
53. Which performing artists do you admire most?
54. Did you marry your high school sweetheart?  Are you still married?
55. Tell a personal story that you think is funny (regardless of what anyone else thinks about it).
56. Why did you start blogging and has it met your expectations?
57. If you could take one or two traits of children and instill it in your life today which would they be?
58. Are you self-conscious?
59. Do friends think you're reliable?
60. Describe one spiritual book that really spoke to you.
61. What do you think it would be like to marry someone almost strictly for money?
62. What drugs should we legalize?
63. If you could live in any city other than a city in the US, which would it be?
64. Write about one place that you definitely want to visit but haven't.
65. If you could perform one song on American Idol what would it be?
66. When will the US's superiority melt away?
67. How do you feel about living in a country that was stolen from someone else?
68. What is the seminal piece of legislation passed in the 20th century?
69. In our history, who has screwed up our country more than anyone else?
70. What was your worst subject in school?
71. What's the worst movie you've ever seen and why was it so bad?
72. Does the word spirituality resonate with you?
73. If there's no God, is there no afterlife?
74. Are you frequently present?
75. Write about a story your parents told you that affected you.
76. Hard or Soft Gummi Bears...where do you stand?
77. Do you still go to movies and why or why not?
78. Do you think you're deep?
79. Do others think you're deep?
80. If your parents died what do you miss most about them?
81. Have you ever had a child die?
82. What movie star do you think is most likely the same in person as on screen?
83. Describe how you feel about internet technology (are you on the front middle or back of the adoption curve).
84. If you had a business fail, why did it fail?
85. If you've had vexing or rewarding experiences raising money, describe them.
86. Should I get my MBA?
87. If you could choose any profession that is non-business related but still realistic what would you do?  (i.e, doctor is reasonable, international rock star isn't)
88. If you are your harshest critic, how is to hang out alone?
89. When is it the right time in dating to have sex?
90. If you're out of the marketing target zone agewise, how does that feel?
91. When do you feel love but can't explain it?
92. When has your intuition told you something was wrong but you still did it and it turned out bad?
93. Write something stream of consciousness sort of like this :)
94. What scares you most about blogging?
95. Do you think you're important?
96. Do you feel like you get what you deserve?
97. Do you feel like others get what you deserve?
98. What do you covet?  (thank you Hannibal Lecter)
99. What should be important to you but isn't?
100. Write a list of suggested blog topics (and email me if you do!)

Hopefully there's not too much crossover.  It's fun just doing it, the result is secondary.

I Like "Stuff White People Like"

A friend of mine at work pointed me to what I think is a hilarious blog dedicated to writing about stuff white people like. 

I look at the full list of the items they write about and there are several that feel right on for me.  In particular the ones about David Sedaris, Arrested Development and even the one on dinner parties (which I don't really have anymore but back in the day when I did, I can TOTALLY relate to everything they write about).

Yes, I understand that people of different races like lots of this stuff too, but I guess it's the way the writing casually and accurately points out the lame and often self-righteous explanations for the things white people do that make it so funny.  (check out the ones on having black or gay friends)

I'm amazed to read that they actually have a book deal related to it.  I bet it's part of an overall strategy to drum up interest in the book and it looks like it's working. 

Importantly this proves again that there's always room for more on the web, particularly when it's new and funny and this one is both.

Ask the Harvard MBA

If you've never met Chris Yeh, well I can only say.....BUMMER FOR YOU!!!

But guess what?  You might just get the experience that I'm lucky enough to have on a regular basis (well for now anyway, I may end up like Frank Pentangeli in the Godfather II waiting on line to see Michael, except I won't have too much wine like Frankie did).

Chris has started a website called Ask the Harvard MBA.  You can ask him any question and he will have a seemingly knowledgeable, frequently useful and usually entertaining answer to the question.

I can tell you first hand that he is one of the smartest people I know (only SLIGHTLY behind myself of course... :) )

Give it a shot and see if Ask the Harvard MBA, it's a virtual no lose situation.

Worst case scenario, if he's wrong, you can start your own website:  BlametheHarvardMBA.com.

Flagpole Sitta....with some serious style!!!!

A friend of mine at work just sent me a video that is just difficult to describe how awesome it is.  Talk about a group of people just having a blast, this takes the cake.  Thank God people still don't take themselves to seriously.  In particular, the dude with the SILF shirt is priceless...

Lip Dub - Flagpole Sitta by Harvey Danger from amandalynferri on Vimeo.

"I've read your blog and...."

I find it particularly curious at this point when I meet someone for the first time and they tell me that they've read my blog and etc., etc.  I've always been pretty transparent out here and have been doing this for a couple years now.  As such, there's a lot of my life history out here.

So when someone tells me that they've read my blog, I'm not always 100% clear about what they've taken from it but I do feel like they know an awful lot about me.  In some ways it's a bit disarming.  In another, very real way, it's actually pretty comforting to me.

The fact is I'm not much different than what you read here on this blog.  I'm a sensitive, open, honest, flawed, sometimes happy/sometimes sad, curious, ambitious (at times), bitter (at times), funny, compassionate, fairly smart individual.  My views on things will change from time to time but my core belief is permanent.

My core belief is that there is no greater power than love.

I know that you take me to the hardest, most crack-addicted, sociopathic, seemingly hateful individual and I have a strong inner knowing that love can save him or her.

Now I readily admit that I don't always act in a loving way.  I stray and I KNOW when I'm doing it (at least I do now, I haven't always known that).

When I don't act lovingly and it involves someone else, I usually have to ask for forgiveness.  Interestingly when I'm decimating myself I usually rely on time to take care of those self-inflicted emotional wounds rather than ask forgiveness on that (which by the way, if you're wondering, does not seem to work all that great).

And given the fact that my blog and myself aren't all that different, it means that when I meet someone who tells me "I've read your blog and...." I actually don't really have to worry about what part they read of it because it's all me and I'm not an act....as far as I can tell.

Ineffectively building social networks

I'm a member of a social network that is ok, not great.  I went to add friends based on my gmail contact list, assuming it was only going to send friend requests to those in my mailbox who were already on the system....NOPE!

I ended up sending an invite to every person in my gmail contact list.  I definitely would not have targeted 70 or 80% of my network for invitation into that network, but so be it.

The net result is I likely brought people into the network who aren't particularly interested in it and may not be a fit for it.  It's one of the many things that I think are troublesome about social networks and their effectiveness.  Except in this case I'm part of the problem.

I had to add one more post

I don't much care what people think about what I write on my blog, I've said that many times before.  However, the visual for me of Chris Crocker in mid-rant about Britney as one of the first things you see on my site is just a little too much for me to bear.

So, I offer you this:  I was talking with a friend who said that blogging will eventually die out from a mass adoption perspective, but if you look at the trends of how young people are blogging there's not doubt in my mind that he's wrong.

I read a Forrester report that said 3% of US Online adults blog.

An unbelievable 32% of US Online youths blog.

That gap is astonishing.  Ask anyone what that means and they'll all be wrong.  Nobody knows.  Just like I said about youtube and senor Crocker.  We just don't know but it will be interesting to watch.

And it also helps me avoid having my entry page on this blog be Chris Crocker.....

No disrespect Chris, I just couldn't handle it.

Brevity, brother, brevity

I looked at my blog post on The River of Doubt and realized, I can be really long winded sometimes!!

I get acute ADD just scrolling through how long it is.  I know it's hard for me to stay focused once a blog post goes beyond a few paragraphs.  But then again, I guess this blog is a reflection of who I am.

And face it, I just find myself awfully damn interesting from time to time.  (If I could do a smiley face avatar here I would....)