T-M-I from T-I-M

My list of 365 (actually 372!) new things I learned every day

I committed to learn one thing almost every day for 365 days, here is the list.  I found that I made a day counting mistake so the number was actually 372.  From the weird to the fun to the dark to the random.  Here's what I learned. enjoy!!!

Day 1 There was a short lived TV series called Roomies starring Burt Young and Corey Haim
Day 2 You can't love anyone until you love yourself fails if your concept of love is deeply flawed
Day 3 Josh Brolin was the young gay FBI agent in Flirting with Disaster
Day 4 Vaccine comes from the word vacca for cow
Day 5 I'm more annoyed by the cop in Die Hard than the principal in Breakfast Club
Day 6 A serger is a particular kind of sewing machine
Day 7 An immersive art exhibit is literally immersive
Day 8 I learned nothing new
Day 9 Big Bird is different colors all around the world
Day 10 John Denver's real name is Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.
Day 11 Arse is derogatory in England, Ass means donkey
Day 12 Bagpipes are from Scotland and Ginuwine's real name starts with Elgin Baylor
Day 13 The Pointer Sisters WERE sisters
Day 14 Katherine and Audrey Hepburn are not sisters
Day 15 Easter has a bunny because bunnies have lots of babies and represent life
Day 16 Xanadu was the summer capital of the Kublai Khan Yuan dynasty in China
Day 17 Costco sells a 3 liter bottle of Prosecco
Day 18 27 years later Clerks holds up
Day 19 QAnon doc was produced by Adam McKay
Day 20 Pablo Cruise is not a person it's the name of a band
Day 21 Godzilla's name comes from Gojira which combines a whale and a gorilla
Day 22 The word hysteria's root comes from uterus in Greek and used to be a "condition"
Day 23 Pennsylvania Polks by Frank Yankovic and the Yanks is the song during Groundhog Day groundhog scene
Day 24 Ken means "one's range of knowledge or sight" and there's worldwide versions of dumplings
Day 25 There was a non-funny Pope named Hilarius
Day 26 Andre Drummond dated Sam from iCarly and iCarly once spoofed Snoop's killing in The Wire
Day 27 Levar Burton was a cop in the video Word Up!
Day 28 Penalty flags used to be white in the NFL and red in College
Day 29 Robert Redford directed Ordinary People
Day 30 All of My Love by Led Zeppelin was written in honor of Robert Plant's 5 year old son who died
Day 31 My optometrist is a Clockwork Orange Fan
Day 32 The Design Predictive business
Day 33 Bunnies can swim
Day 34 Karen Carpenter played the drums
Day 35 Red Stovie singing Teddy Bear
Day 36 Dexys Midnight Run didn't have an apostrophe in its name
Day 37 Slowly I turn was done on numerous shows
Day 38 The word guacamole means avocado sauce in Mayan āhuacatl + mōlli avocado + sauce
Day 39 Do not rinse raw chicken it spreads disease
Day 40 "ize" is actually a legitimate way to make a word active
Day 41 Rebecca Webb Carranza made tortilla chips rectangular
Day 42 Frank McCourt published his first book Angela's Ashes when he was 60
Day 43 Curly, Wavy, Straight hair is genetic
Day 44 Origin of the words man and woman
Day 45 Akashic Records relates to all things that have ever been thought, felt or said
Day 46 Murphy's Law origin
Day 47 NBA Jam inventor Mark Turmell was a pyromaniac
Day 48 Rob Reiner's mom was in the fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally
Day 49 Les Paul is Steve Miller's godfather
Day 50 Association Football became Soccer in the US but Soccer was used in England for a long time
Day 51 Emotional backdraft
Day 52 The Warriors almost hired Stan Van Gundy instead of Steve Kerr.
Day 53 Rebecca Baker composed 3 viola pieces one under Anthony Trent, which got all the credit
Day 54 Tom & Jerry, Tom named for short Tom cat, Jerry no identifiable origin
Day 55 Steve Nash is the only 4 time 50/40/90 player in NBA history (overall FG%/3 pt %/FT %)
Day 56 Most critics hated The Lonely Guy
Day 57 At birth a girl has between 1-2 Million eggs by puberty it's 300,000 when they run out they go through menopause
Day 58 Mary J Blige's real name is Mary J Blige
Day 59 Sister Christian was written near Divisadero and California streets in SF. WOW!
Day 60 Richard Dawkins invented the word meme
Day 61 Legal Tender by the B-52's is about printing counterfeit money
Day 62 Women and girls have periods every month and I forget it.
Day 63 GA 14 where MTG governs from Demographics
Day 64 The card Steve Martin hands out when he meets someone and they ask for his autograph
Day 65 Doggie in the Window was a #1 hit for 8 consecutive weeks in 1953.
Day 66 Bonnie & Clyde were an important final part in creating more creative freedom of the movie ratings
Day 67 Spotify modified it's shuffle algorithm because people thought it wasn't "random" but it actually was.
Day 68 The Boston Celtics logo was designed by Zane Auerbach brother of Red Auerbach.
Day 69 The Girl from Ipanema is an example of Bossa Nova
Day 70 Ain't was originally a fine word to use
Day 71 Glennon Doyle is awesome.
Day 72 In the 1968 Mexico Olympics, silver medal winner Australian sprinter Peter Norman wore a badge on his breast to support John Carlos and Tommie Smith.
Day 73 There are people who didn't like the 1980 movie Flash Gordon.
Day 74 Jack Black's mom helped save Apollo 13 and went into labor with him
Day 75 NSYNC's band name comes from the last name's of the original members JustiN, ChriS, JoeY, JasoN, and JC.
Day 76 15,000 tons of material enters the Earth's atmosphere each day
Day 77 The ablum 77 was named because it was made in 1977
Day 78 The song Cyrstal on Rumors was originally on an album by Buckingham Nicks.
Day 79 The very first Father's Day observance was created after a mining disaster in West Virigina claimed 362 men died leaving almost 1,000 children without dads.
Day 80 The first lottery in the 50 US states was in New Hampshire in 1964 and the numbers were "drawn" based on how horses finished in a thoroughbred race in NH.
Day 81 We say dogs live 7 years to our 1 because their life span averages 10 years and ours averages roughly 70.
Day 82 Only eat oysters in months with an "r" in the name
Day 83 Tennis comes from the French tenez, the plural imperative form of the verb tenir, to hold, meaning "hold!", "receive!" or "take!", an interjection used as a call from the server to his opponent to indicate that he is about to serve
Day 84 John Legend played piano on the song Everything is Everything by Lauryn Hill
Day 85 Corgi means Dwarf Dog in Welsh
Day 86 Lewis Caroll's name came from the first two part s of his full name Charles Lutwidge Dodgson translated into Latin reversed the order and translated back to English
Day 87 Yaz changed its name in North America because of a lawsuit threat from a record company called Yazoo Records who had a small group called Yazoo.
Day 88 The number 8 is lucky in Chinese because the word for 8 "ba" sounds like the words "fortune" and "prosper" in Chinese.
Day 89 Curiosity killed the cat was originally "Care'll kill a cat" as a line in a play uttered by William Shakespeare as an ACTOR in 1598, in Ben Jonson’s city comedy, Every Man in His Humour.
Day 90 Donald Rumsfeld wrote a funny letter to the IRS once
Day 91 Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Fatory was a box office bomb and the music was panned and Pure Imagination took 25 years to get recognized
Day 92 Holidays have the fewest babies born in the US (Xmas in particular) partly because Doctors generally won't schedule Cesearian sections are scheduled or induce labor those days either.
Day 93 Warner Brothers was named after 4 actual brothers Harry, Albert, Sam, and Jack.
Day 94 Freud invented the term anal retentive
Day 95 Solsbury Hill is an actual hill and is a song by Peter Gabriel about being prepared to lose what you have for what you might get ... It's about letting go.
Day 96 Flying monkeys is a term sometimes used in pop psychology to describe people who are acting at the behest of another to control a targeted individual.
Day 97 Rice water strengthens, beautifies and detangles hair.
Day 98 There's no Bob in Yessirree Bob
Day 99 99 Red Balloons was an anti-war song.
Day 100 Pretzels are shaped like cross armed children praying, invented by an Italian monk in 610 AD.
Day 101 WKRP in Cincinnati, Mork & Mindy, Battlestar Galactica and Taxi all made the TV debut within 4 days of each other in September of 1978
Day 102 Foo Fighter guitarist Pat Smear was an extra in the video for Raspberry Beret by Prince
Day 103 In 1920 a group of Notre Dame students clashed with a group of KKK members from having a parade in South Bend.
Day 104 When you dream you are playing marbles it's because you are trying to control a situation in life that appears to depend on chance
Day 105 The game Dungeons and Dragons was named that after one of the creators showed a list of names to his two yeard daughter and she said ""Oh Daddy, I like Dungeons & Dragons best!"
Day 106 Yester-me, Yester-You, Yesterday by Stevie Wonder was recorded 2 years before My Cherie Amour and was included because of vocal problems he was having.
Day 107 Stevie Wonder's song "For Once in My Life" was written by Ron Miller the evening his daughter Angel was born.
Day 108 Leslie Visser won a Carnegie Foundation grant in 1974 for sportswriting, it was designed for awards for women going into career areas that had 95% or more men.
Day 109 Kool and the Gang got their name from their bassist Robert "Kool" Bell who took the name from a neighborhood dude named Cool but used a K.
Day 110 The word "emotion" was coined in the early 1800s by Thomas Brown and it is around the 1830s that the modern concept of emotion first emerged for the English language
Day 111 Kirilose Mansour sued Bumble because he claimed its discriminatory to only allow women to send messages to men first
Day 112 A large cloud can weigh as much as 600 blue whales.
Day 113 The word "date" as in dating was first used by a Chicago columnist named George Ade in 1896.
Day 114 Chevy was first used instead of Chevrolet in the Dinah Shore Chevy Show
Day 115 Interlocutor means "one who takes part in a conversation or a dialogue"
Day 116 The song Steal My Sunshine by Len was created by a brother and sister group from Canada.
Day 117 The term "blockbuster" came from when a movie was so popular the line for it formed around the block.
Day 118 The Simpsons Paradox is a phenomenon in probability and statistics in which a trend appears in several groups of data but disappears or reverses when the groups are combined
Day 119 Bohemian Rhapsody was the streamed song in the 20th century with over 1.6 Billion streams.
Day 120 Angelica Rubio who is now a state Rep in New Mexico was the daughter of the mom who had the tortilla with Jesus' image in 1977 in New Mexico.
Day 121 September is the most popular birthday month.
Day 122 Zodiac means "cycle of little animals" even though the signs aren't all animals and it was invented by the Babylonians.
Day 123 The phrase "It is what it is" was first in print from J.E. Lawrence in 1949 in the Nebraska State Journal.
Day 124 Primates grieve death.
Day 125 Dave Chappelle was in Con Air.
Day 126 Many Amish people do not want their pictures taken.
Day 127 Frank Sinatra wore a toupee for a lot of his career.
Day 128 Phil Collins offered to join The Who after Keith Moon died and would have left Genesis.
Day 129 Some restaurants charge a "cake-age" fee.
Day 130 Norm MacDonald lost all his money 3 times gambling
Day 131 Pop is used to refer to soda pop in the Midwest because it's the sound made when opening a bottle.
Day 132 Tiffany Haddish learned from Roger Rabbit that if you make people laugh, they'll do anything for you - which is almost true.
Day 133 NBA Hall of Famer Bill Sharman invented the shootaround as a way to burn off nervous energy before a game.
Day 134 James Baldwin was an important part of nudging Maya Angelou to write the magnificent I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings.
Day 135 The original Stanley Cup was purchased by Sir Frederick Arthur Stanley for $50.
Day 136 Herman Hesse author of Siddartha seemingly steeped in eastern religion was Chirstian of his parents Christianity, one not preached but lived, was the strongest of the powers that shaped and moulded me
Day 137 Lido is the name of a person in the song Lido Shuffle by Boz Scaggs AND Lido is the proper name of Lido "Lee" Iacocca, former auto CEO for two of the big three automakers.
Day 138 Paul Simon's "You can call me Al" was written after he went to a party and a famous person referred to him mistakenly as Al and his wife Peggy mistakenly as Betty.
Day 139 Some people have "preferred sides" for pictures.
Day 140 Tyson Fury was named after Mike Tyson.
Day 141 The Kinks got their name, according to Ray Davies, because their manager said they had a "kinky" fashion sense.
Day 142 The wildly popular Netflix show Squid Game was rejected for 10 years before finally getting made.
Day 143 The baseball name team Dodgers came from the maze of trolleys that moved through Brooklyn in the 1800's. The baseball team name Giants was coined after a big win in the late 1800's where the manager proclaimed "My big fellows, my giants!!" and it replaced their original name, Gothams.
Day 144 Die hard the phrase die hard was first used during the Battle of Albuera (1811) in the Peninsular War.
Day 145 The title of Sojourner Truth's Ain't I a Woman speech has roots in anti-abolition slogans from Britain.
Day 146 SEC college football schools are fined $100,000 when students rush the field on first offense, $250,000 every time after that.
Day 147 Janet Leigh who played the ill fated woman in Psycho is Jamie Lee Curtis' mom.
Day 148 Chris Ford made the NBA's first three pointer.
Day 149 When Beethoven went deaf he attached a wooden rod to his piano so he could feel the music inventing Bone Conduction.
Day 150 CODA stands for Children of Deaf Adults
Day 151 There is a World Cup for "Keeping the Balloon from Hitting the Ground" game.
Day 152 Tribulation means distress or suffering resulting from oppression or persecution.
Day 153 Crows got their bad rap because they scavenge off dead animals and humans and were then asscoiated with death and witches.
Day 154 Noah was the first winemaker
Day 155 Prince wrote the song Manic Monday by the Bangles
Day 156 Dusty Baker was in the on deck circle for Hank Aaron's historic record home run.
Day 157 Ronald Reagan was the first to use Make America Great Again in political speeches.
Day 158 The horse's head that appeared in an iconic scene in the film The Godfather was real.
Day 159 Joseph Strauss installed nets as the Goldent Gate Bridge was constructed and saved at least 19 lives.
Day 160 One Step Beyond was originally recorded by Prince Buster then covered by Madness.
Day 161 The first NBA game ever was played in Canada between the Toronto Huskies and New York Knicks in 1946.
Day 162 In 1895, George Hudson, an entomologist from New Zealand proposed a two-hour time shift (daylight savings) so he'd have more after-work hours of sunshine to go bug hunting in the summer.
Day 163 A hat maker is called a Milliner
Day 164 The actor who played Jerry on Parks and Rec auditioned for the role of Ron Swanson.
Day 165 DMX is short for Dark Man X.
Day 166 Hildegard of Bingen (aka St. Hildegard) invented the first skin moisturizer in 1100 in Germany.
Day 167 (719) 266-2837 is an AMAZING hotline for Hall & Oates
Day 168 Cisgender comes from the latin "cis" to meaning "on this side of" and is the antonym of transgender.
Day 169 Silvio Dante was originally a character from a treatment script written by Stevie Van Zandt
Day 170 Clinatro tastes soapy to some people and it's genetic.
Day 171 The Stranger Things TV soundtrack is the most played soundtrack on Spotify at 5 billion plays.
Day 172 Bridget Bishop was the first woman executed in the Salem Witch Trials.
Day 173 Brian May of Queen is an astrophysicist.
Day 174 Sally Field starred in a TV show where she was a nun who could fly in the late 60's.
Day 175 Nick Saban listens to Gimme Shelter with his wife Miss Terry after every road game win on the way home from the airport.
Day 176 Henry David Thoreau believed deeply in God and disliked organized religion.
Day 177 Franksgiving relates to when FDR moved the Thanksgiving holiday back one week in 1939 to stimulate the economy's Christmas shopping.
Day 178 The day after Thanksgiving is the busiest day of the year for plumbers and is called Brown Friday.
Day 179 Goose bumps' scientific name is Piloerection.
Day 180 In 1971, 33 inmates and 10 correctional officers were killed in Attica Prison in NY after 2,000+ inmates took it over to protest for prisoner's rights.
Day 181 The Snowths was the name of the pair of pink animals in the mah na mah na song.
Day 182 Part of the cremated remains of the man who designed the Pringles can were buried in a Pringles can.
Day 183 Mel Brooks' musical All American which bombed became the inspiration for the wildly successful musical The Producers.
Day 184 The retriever in Golden Retriever refers to the breed's ability to retrieve shot game undamaged due to their soft mouth.
Day 185 Jon Voight is Angelina Jolie's father.
Day 186 The real life inspiration for Mark Ratner in Fast Times at Ridgemont High wrote the first ….for Dummies book called Windows for Dummies and has written 50 books, multiple best sellers.
Day 187 The "-oid" on factoid as a suffix refers to something having the appearance of or resembling something.
Day 188 A single paragraph of a non-scientific study in the New England Journal of Medicine suggesting pain killing opiates weren't addictive effectively spawned the opiods crisis.
Day 189 On Dec 21, 1978 a 17 year old named Barbara Annette Oswald hijacked TWA Flight 541 and ultimately surrendered.
Day 190 In early 1963 there was a Kellog's vs Post battle against time to launch the Pop Tart
Day 191 63 of the 100 largest cities in the US have Democratic compared to 26 with Republican mayors (Independent and nonpartisan the rest).
Day 192 Amos Alonzo Stagg, the first ever paid college football coach in 1890 was also a vegetarian.
Day 193 The word pitch is used for soccer playing because they originally played the game where they also played cricket.
Day 194 Soccer pitches are different sizes in every stadium to to let the soccer clubs have a field advantage when they are playing at their home stadium.
Day 195 Jerry Seinfeld writes every morning.
Day 196 A 1976 magazine article that was the inspiration for Saturday Night Fever entitled "Tribal Rites of the New Saturday Night" was mostly made up.
Day 197 Pardon my French was an expression first used in England when English speakers would say a French word but was also a dig at France.
Day 198 "Fresh as a daisy" originated from the flowers were first called "day's eyes" because the petals covered the yellow center at night and opened in the day.
Day 199 A sapiophile is someone who is attracted to intelligence or intelligent people.
Day 200 Christopher comes from the Greek meaning "bearer of Christ"
Day 201 The "fishes" in the Jesus Loaves and Fishes story is a word used to describe multiple types of fish.
Day 202 Pinball was banned from the early 1940's until 1976 first in NY but then in LA and several other cities.
Day 203 Vomit bags were first put on airplanes in 1949 invented by Gilmore T. Schjeldahl.
Day 204 The "Roe" in Roe v Wade refers to Jane Roe, the anoymized name of the plantiff.
Day 205 Nimrod was a skilled hunter, grandson of Noah in the Bible and was reframed as a criticism via Bugs Bunny.
Day 206 The songs "If I only had a brain/heart/nerve" from Wizard of Oz were originally written for an earlier Broadway show but the song was dropped and then put in the Wizard of Oz.
Day 207 Ralph Macchio was one year older than Thomas Ian Griffith in Karate Kidd III and still is in Cobra Kai.
Day 208 Good grief, the phrase popularized in Charlie Brown, is an expression of surprise or annoyance and the word grief can be used as a substitue for God.
Day 209 Rap started from West African "griots" who told stories over rhythmic beats.
Day 210 The phrases human race and human species mean the same thing.
Day 211 Devil in deviled eggs refers to a cooking technique wherein the food is spiced up aggressively with "hot" spices.
Day 212 Padiddle was originally a game in which upon spotting a car with one headlight (a "paddidle") and calling it out a boy would get a kiss or a slap.
Day 213 The word "commit" in commit suicide has been framed in the context of commiting a crime or a sin.
Day 214 A shire is an administrative subidivision in England and is synomymous with county.
Day 215 Ctrl-Alt-Del was the three key action chosen because it requires both hands to do it.
Day 216 Wordle was named after its creator Josh Wardle who invented it for him and his partner in 2020.
Day 217 There is a Road to Nowhere in North Carolina.
Day 218 Hitler was a vegetarian for a number of years.
Day 219 The Sugar Hill Gang (Rapper's Delight) had a member named Big Bank Hank not Big BAD Hank.
Day 220 The saying "This ain't my first rodeo" comes from the 1981 movie Mommie Dearest.
Day 221 Jack Johnson's lyrics/music was the "voice" of Curious George in the 2006 movie.
Day 222 2 is the most feminine number
Day 223 Milk Bones got their name from the amount of cow's milk in them by a New York City bakery that invented them.
Day 224 The term "alley-oop" is derived from the French term allez hop!, the cry of a circus acrobat about to leap
Day 225 The fly in "your fly is open" is the fabric that is separated and open, not the zipper.
Day 226 Dancers say Merde to wish good luck in performance instead of break a leg.
Day 227 Hans Zimmer was briefly in the Buggles and briefly in the video "Video Killed the Radio Star"
Day 228 A lunar year, which is 12 full cycles of the moon, is about 354 days so the new year's date changes ever year.
Day 229 Lily Collins, the star of Emily in Paris is Phil Collins' daughter.
Day 230 In the 1960's Disney almost built a ski resort in the Sequoia National Park and Richard Nixon played a notable role in stopping it.
Day 231 Beijing means Northern Capital.
Day 232 Cara Cara oranges got their name from the place they were discovered in Venezeula.
Day 233 The original name of Spongebob Squarepants was "SpongeBoy" but that was taken by a cleaning product.
Day 234 There's no single explanation for why it's called "the green room" but one explanation suggests it was for immature actors waiting to perform.
Day 235 Green cards were originally green and were shorthand for the more cumbersome name Alien Registration Recipt Card.
Day 236 Purgatory is the state of those who die in God's friendship, assured of their eternal salvation, but who still have need of purification to enter into the happiness of heaven.
Day 237 Yoga Sutras are short, relevant reflections on yoga compiled/written by Patanjali.
Day 238 Hansom cabs are named after Joseph Hansom who created them.
Day 239 Laurence Fishburne was 14 in Apocalypse Now.
Day 240 The Fifth Amendment originally was designed to combat torture and forced confessions.
Day 241 Figure Skating was originally a Summer Olympics sport.
Day 242 Cheese curds are young, unaged small clumps of cheese that form early in the "cheddaring" process.
Day 243 Ukranian President Volodymyr Zelensky was the voice in the Ukranian dubbed version of Paddington (2014) & Paddington 2 (2017)
Day 244 The song Danke Schoen is sung by a man.
Day 245 The Incredible Hulk was originally gray.
Day 246 The sports saying "kiss your sister" was first said in sports by Edgar "Rip" Miller, former Notre Dame football player and Asst Director of of Athletics of Navy in 1946.
Day 247 The song "Make You Feel My Love" was written by Bob Dylan.
Day 248 In the NCAA, starting with the 2022-23 academic year, transgender student-athletes will need documented sport-specific testosterone levels at the beginning of their season and a second documentation six months after the first. They will also need documented testosterone levels four weeks before championship selections.
Day 249 Cacio e Pepi pasta is one of the four classic Italian pasta dishes and was first made by shepherds.
Day 250 Oneida spoons emerged from a 19th-century polyamorous communist Christian utopia known as the Oneida Community.
Day 251 Wilt Chamberlain played 48.5 minutes a game in the 1961-62 season.
Day 252 A hoser is someone who has to water down the ice after losing a hockey game pre-Zamboni days.
Day 253 Green dye is used to detect leaks for plumbers and was the origin of Chicago's St. Patrick's Day green river.
Day 254 Cults are sometimes called High Demand Groups.
Day 255 Tiramisu means "pick me up".
Day 256 Beyond the pale refers to being beyond safety and was originally used by Catherine the "Great" in Russia to identify the area where Jewish pepole were "allowed" to live and trade.
Day 257 Menopause occurs when a woman has gone 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period.
Day 258 A member of my beloved Kansas City Chiefs, Curtis McClinton stood with Ali in the Cleveland Summit.
Day 259 Veuve Clicquot translates to "Widow Clicquot".
Day 260 Maroon 5 was originally named Kara's Flowers which sung the unforgettable Soap Disco.
Day 261 Elwood Edwards is the voice of AOL's "You got mail"
Day 262 The band Lynyrd Skynyrd got it's name from a high school gym teacher named Leonard Skinner.
Day 263 Leon the Lobster was saved from the grocery store and now is a YouTube sensation.
Day 264 LatinX is used to refer to the Latin men and women.
Day 265 Popeye was originally a throwaway character introduced in 1929 in the Oyl family comic strip.
Day 266 KISS had the cover song "Then She Kissed Me" on the album Love Gun
Day 267 Prince's nickname as a kid was Skipper.
Day 268 There's no clear origination of the term "sleeping with" someone to refer to sex.
Day 269 The Promise by When in Rome was written by all 3 band members and was inspired by a breakup a band member had recently gone through.
Day 270 The Masters Tournament was originally called the Augusta National Invitation Tournament from 1934-1938.
Day 271 Ed Sullivan was in London’s Heathrow airport Oct 31, 1963 when he saw 1,500 fans waiting for the Beatles to arrive back from tour which led to him booking them on the show.
Day 272 Ampersand came from the Latin per se and when describing a letter that could also be a word (like A).
Day 273 The Sammies (nickname for the Samuel J Heyman Service to America Medals) are the Oscars for federal government employees.
Day 274 Ronald Reagan was the first to sign no fault divorce into law in CA in 1969.
Day 275 The country of Bhutan measures Gross National Happiness rather than Gross Domestic Product.
Day 276 Black Pete is part of the Dutch holiday Sinterklaas which includes people putting black paint on their face.
Day 277 During Ramadan, menstruating women do not need to observe daily fasting.
Day 278 Pleather refers to fake or plastic leather.
Day 279 The K Pop group BTS derived its acronym from its Korean name, Bangtan Sonyeondan which means "Bulletproof Boy Scouts".
Day 280 Restaurants generally price a glass of wine at the retail cost of the bottle to them.
Day 281 Nike's initial 3 year sales goal of the Air Jordan sneaker in 1984 was $3MM, they sold $126 million in year one alone.
Day 282 Supercalafajalistickespeealadojus began with knowing it rhymed with atrocious.
Day 283 Florida is the flattest state in the US.
Day 284 Woke as guidance first showed up in a song by Lead Belly folk and blues musician/singer in 1938 as "stay woke".
Day 285 An ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilized egg implants and grows outside the main cavity of the uterus.
Day 286 Ronald Reagan was originally a Democrat.
Day 287 Schubert’s Ave Maria was originally written for a completely different song named Ellen’s Third Song.
Day 288 Originally, in order to produce a deck of 52 playing cards the Ace of Spades had to have an approved insignia indicating the producer had paid proper taxes.
Day 289 Cello is short for violocello which means "little violone" or "little big viola".
Day 290 Cinco de Mayo is not a recognized holiday in Mexico and is generally not celebrated there.
Day 291 The baby delivering myth of storks started in Europe as it aligned with summer solstice marriages.
Day 292 Mother's Day was started by a childless, unmarried woman named Anna Jarvis in 1908.
Day 293 The Cincinatti Reds founded in 1869 are the oldest professional baseball franchise.
Day 294 Rich Strike, who won the Kentucky Derby, was claimed (or purchased) by his owner for $30,000 and broke a tie on the claim with a "shake" or dice roll with 5 other claimants.
Day 295 The term Mother Nature was first used in modern Europe in England in 1266 because the Greek natura means birth.
Day 296 The iconic spoken intro to Kiss and Say Goodbye ("This has got to be the saddest day of my life...") by the Manhattans was not played by pop stations.
Day 297 Wendy Melvoin wrote the intro and guitar chords to the song Purple Rain.
Day 298 George Carlin was arrested in Milwaukee at Summerfest in 1972 for performing his 7 words you can't say on television routine.
Day 299 It's not the Toronto Maple Leaves Candaian soldiers wore a maple leaf on their arm band and Conn Smythe who named them though calling them the Leaves would disrespect the soldiers.
Day 300 The writer of the song Mandy made up a story about the song being about a dog because he was pissed by a middle of the night call about the song to find who she was.
Day 301 One of the members of the rap group Geto Boys Bushwick Bill was 3 feet 8 inches tall
Day 302 Bible means book.
Day 303 The number of justices on the Supreme Court ranged from 5-10 changing 6 times until settling on 9 in 1869.
Day 304 The word pornography derives from the Greek porni (prostitute) and graphein (to write).
Day 305 Dracula's name comes from Dracul and the a means "son of".
day 306 Stan is word combining stalker and fan.
Day 307 Barry Manilow's original name was Barry Pincus.
Day 308 10 of the original 13 1932 founding schools in the SEC and 6 of the original 7 1896 founding schools of the Big 10 are still in it.
Day 309 The first fireworks display was July 4, 1977 in Philadelphia.
Day 310 Thomas Crapper created the tank refill innovation in the toilet in the late 19th century exponentially improving it.
Day 311 A group of pandas is called an embarrassment of pandas.
Day 312 Pat Riley is 6 ft 4 in tall.
Day 313 Old cars are drivern off a 300 foot cliff every July in Glacier View, Alaska.
Day 314 4 of the 7 days of the week are named after Gods.
Day 315 New Edition's band name referred to how they wanted to be a new edition of the Jackson 5.
Day 316 Wimbledon didn't allow ball girls until 1977 and didn't allow them on Centre Court until 1985.
Day 317 A gerontocracy is a state, society or group run by old people.
Day 318 Michael Jackson's final Number 1 Hit "You are not Alone" was written by R Kelly.
Day 319 Steiff Louis Vuitton Teddy Bear is worth $2.1 Million making it the most expensive teddy bear ever.
Day 320 BA Baracus of the A Team was terrified of flying (pteromerhanophobia).
Day 321 Former GS Warrior Anthony Morrow holds the summer league single game scoring record with 47 points.
Day 322 Barry Bremen, the guy who snuck in to a bunch of sporting events in the 70's & 80's fathered 3 dozen kids through sperm donations.
Day 323 Tony Siricco (Paulie) from The Sopranos protected Robert Iler (AJ) on the set.
Day 324 SF Giants pitcher Gaylord Perry hit a home run 30-ish minutes after the first ever moon landing.
Day 325 Max Lurie was reading an article on treating tuberculosis when he came up with the idea for the first anti-depressant.
Day 326 The Bowerbird creates colorful and well organized designs to attract a mate.
Day 327 Searching for amphibians or reptiles is called Herping.
Day 328 The actor who played Longshanks in Braveheart was the shady art dealer in Silver Streak.
Day 329 Our interstate highways are numbered from bottom to top and from left to right numerically.
Day 330 In 1973 Yankee pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich not only swapped wives but entire families.
Day 331 The NCAA was originally founded (as the IAAUS) to combat athletes getting maimed and killed (19 or 20) playing football.
Day 332 The White Panthers were founded in 1968 in direct response to Huey Newton of the Black Panthers suggesting a group like it be founded.
Day 333 Nichelle Nichols and William Shatner had the first interracial kiss on American TV.
Day 334 Pickleball was invented by 2 Dads on vacation whose families were getting bored while they golfed.
Day 335 Vin Scully called The Catch in 1982 49ers victory over the Cowboys.
Day 336 Overdraft fees at US banks started widespread in the 1990's.
Day 337 Former NFL Defensive End Rosie Grier was RFK's bodyguard and was guarding his pregnant wife the night he was shot.
Day 338 The old man tying a scarf to steady his hand drinking in Barfly was an unscripted suggestion offered by the actor.
Day 339 Bill Russell was the first basketball player to jump when blocking shots.
Day 340 The Wizard of Oz was originally written as a political allegory of the turn of the century in America.
Day 341 The word cop for a police officer came from Anglo Saxon & Dutch verb to catch or capture in the 1100's.
Day 342 Black shirts go with light blue slacks and a pink shirt can go with a blue patterned sport coat.
Day 343 The star of Inside Llewyn Davis, ex Machina and A Very Violent Year are the same actor.
Day 344 In 1788 England's newspaper The Daily Universal Register changed its name to The Times, the first paper to use "Times".
Day 345 Gatorade is named after the Gators of University of Florida.
Day 346 The band Foreigner's original name was Trigger.
Day 347 When Bill Clinton was impeached 5 Democrats voted for it and 10 Republicans voted against it.
Day 348 Maitre d' is short for Maitre d'hotel which means "master of the house".
Day 349 The Bechdel Test measure the representation of women in fictional works (movies, books, TV, etc.).
Day 350 New York city makes it basketball rims by hand.
Day 351 Comedy Central will not air the Diversity Training episode from Season 1 of the Office.
Day 352 Data and Chunk from Goonies became life long friends and Data is now represented by Chunk.
Day 353 In 1786 Mordecai Lincoln saved Thomas Lincoln's life, Thomas was Abraham Lincoln's dad.
Day 354 Douglas Kenney helped write both Animal House and Caddyshack and died in August 1980.
Day 355 Rupert Holmes of The Pina Colada song fame's name was originally David Goldstein.
Day 356 The last US tennis player to win a major was Andy Roddick in 2003.
Day 357 Tod Bowman directed Freaks and was mentioned in David Bowie's song Diamond Dogs.
Day 358 Allee Willis was living on food stamps and broke until she wrote the song September for Earth Wind & Fire.
Day 359 Crazy Train by Ozzy Ozbourne has really deep lyrics.
Day 360 Folks is the most inclusive word possible to describe all humans.
Day 361 The lead singer of Florence and the Machine saw a rainbow colored painting which inspired her to create the iconic Dog Days are Over
Day 362 The word Senate is derived from the Roman word Senatus related to Senex meaning "elder" or "old man".
Day 363 Hockey goalie Rogie Vachon originally backed up the photogenic Gump Worsley.
Day 364 In 1950 Penn (ABC) and Notre Dame (Dumont Television Network) were among the first to broadcast their games regionally.
Day 365 Mercury retrograde is an optical illusion which means it looks as if the planet is moving backwards from our view here on earth.
Day 366 Poodles are desirable to cross breed with because they come in 3 sizes.
Day 367 Digger Phelps' father gave him his nickname because he was a mortician in Beacon, NY.
Day 368 Mafia hit men drop the gun when they shoot someone because they don't want to be found with it.
Day 369 The first documented use of the getting on the bandwagon idea was from Teddy Roosevelt.
Day 370 To test the vagus nerve a doctor may use a soft cotton swab to tickle the back of the throat to test the gag reflex.
Day 371 Lucille Ball is the reason Star Trek got on the air.
Day 372 I didn't think I would do thiis 365 times.

Often women want to fix things rather than listen to feelings too

I legit ride or die with SO many of my women friends and yet.....

 

90% of these women after talking with me about a difficult thing they're going through:

 

"Thank you so much Tim it's incredible to actually talk to a man who will patiently and attentively listen to my feelings. I love that you don't try to solve things you just listen."

 

2 weeks later, when I share something that's difficult going on with me a notable percentage of that same beloved cohort respond to me (from I'm certain some kind of loving place) with things like:

 

"You'll land on your feet and find something better."

 

"Often with stuff like this it ends up being the best thing that could have happened."

 

"When that happened to me here's what I did, I can share that plan or approach that I used with you."

 

Or the confounding "God has a plan for you Tim"

 

There is an astonishingly low number of women that actually say things to me in that moment like:

 

"Oh that must be really difficult" or

 

"Tell me more" or

 

Just breathe deep and quietly let me keep going

 

Or even....

 

"Wow, how are you feeling about it?"

 

It's a fascinating dynamic.

 

At times I have to say these well meaning friends who I know care about me, I just want to share my feelings right now I don't you need to solve this.

 

And I think we'd all be surprised at the still notable number of women who after I say this STILL try to solve my problem.

 

Life is just odd at times

 

My point is I know all the stuff that many of my well meaning women friends respond first to me (I tell them that, yes I know it will be ok).

 

And it's BECAUSE I know these things that I'm able, willing and ready to talk to you about my feelings.

 

And the even bigger challenge is if I tell my friend that at times I DON'T know if it's going to be ok it's a call to even be more patient with me as I talk about my feelings.

 

For any of my beloved women friends who read this, I don't love you any less, I'm trying to love myself even more and teach you how to love me.

12 Random Thoughts on the Uvalde Murders

12 random thoughts on the Uvalde shooting:

 

1. My daughter the student now the teacher:

 

After 18 years worrying about whether my daughter would be killed in a school I will now worry another 20+ years about my daughter dying and being trained to kill someone to protect her students as a teacher.

 

To deny there aren’t likely adverse second and third order consequences to teachers having guns is myopic at VERY best.

 

There are American citizens who believe that we should turn teachers into part time law enforcement officials after a group of FULLY trained officers made MASSIVE errors.

 

Arming and training my daughter to protect her kids as a viable solution is INSANE.

 

And btw, how do you adjust their already ridiculously low salaries for this?

 

2. The surviving children:

 

I have not been able to get out of my mind and heart every minute when those children were in that room with that murderer.

 

I think the children that survived have a traumatic experience that will live devastatingly in their bodies for the rest of their lives.

 

If we really believe in supporting life, every one of those children that survived and parents of whose children were murdered should have access to free HIGH QUALITY mental health support for the remainder of their lives, paid by taxpayers (including me) or other organizations.

 

3. Statistical anomaly:

 

An awful numerical co-incidence: 19 children died while 19 law enforcement personnel waited to act.

 

4. Undeniable facts:

 

It’s undeniable that the murderer bought gun(s) legally and this shooting happened. Many gun murders and suicides of all kinds are done by people who buy guns legally. It’s a fact.

 

To deny that is a part of the issue is myopic.

 

It’s undeniable that some breakdown in the way these murderers are parented/brought up and how they were treated socially plays a role in what they do.

 

To deny that is a part of the issue is myopic.

 

It’s not an “or” it’s an “and”, a flawed legal gun buying system and damaged parental/guidance system both contribute to lost young and older adults.

 

5. The Killers:

 

Adults of every age have to be held accountable regardless of legality buying the gun, social/parental limitations. They MUST be punished.

 

Other than stopping them from killing more innocent people, I’m frustrated when the killer dies.

 

I want to understand them better to stop it in the future and a dark part of me believes it’s more of a punishment for them to live with this rather than die because of it.

 

The part of me that loves redemption stories is really, really challenged to desire redemption for the murderer of innocent children by adults or near adults with guns.

 

6. Lawsuits:

 

I’m in favor of pursuing lawsuits against (YES I get that these are VERY hard to do or even justify):

 

Gun companies that sell high-capacity weapons without increased scrutiny at a minimum.

Parents of people who use guns to kill children (like the Oxford parents were)

Individuals who post threatening content online. (This is starting to happen which I think is worthy although understandably a very difficult needle to thread.)

 

7. Gun Owners:

 

It’s interesting to me how many NRA members actually support thorough screenings that go beyond the current laws.

 

The people who think that our citizenry could POSSIBLY defend itself against our government’s military with a gigantic cache of AR-15’s and more are beyond delusional.

 

Bombs and tanks beat rifles every single time. The argument that this protects us from the tyranny of the government is absurd.

 

8. Politicians Politicize:

 

95% of politicians politicize EVERYTHING. That’s what politicians do, it’s their way to stay in power.

 

Politicians even politicize by accusing other of politicizing!

 

It’s harsh to say it but children being killed is a political opportunity in that the event is a way to enact change. It’s no different than when an illegal immigrant does something awful and that’s politicized.

 

My very cynical side wonders if some politicians wish this happened closer to the election.

 

My even more cynical side wonders if those politicians are relatively comforted knowing that it will likely happen again closer to it.

 

9. Would I?:

 

If given the opportunity to kill this murderer and it was the only option given to stop him if I knew he was on the way to do what he did, I would have a very difficult time saying no.

 

10. Terrorist?:

 

I have a hard time calling this murderer a terrorist. I don’t understand how to frame the Uvalde killing as politically motivated although it did take innocent lives. (those two conditions are the definition of terrorism)

 

I think the Pittsburgh murderer was a terrorist.

 

11. Contextualizing Gun Violence:

 

Gun violence in general is a gruesome issue in our country but:

It’s hard to compare gun violence by gangs against each other (that don’t take innocent lives) to this reasonably.

 

Innocent people killed in inner city gun violence when they are bystanders to gang violence is not the same either.

 

The innocent people in these inner-city murders are NOT the target. In Uvalde the innocents WERE the target.

 

It doesn’t mean these killings aren’t equally important (and the innocent children in particular killed are a tragedy) but to call them the same is not accurate.

 

Even that sentence is a little dark.

 

Suicide by gun can’t be compared to the Uvalde killings either. Having personal experience with this I can assure you it is simply not the same.

 

All four categories (the three above and the original issue) are issues that I’d hope we’d address and have some of the same approaches on legality of gun purchase and family/system upbringing as well as mental health.

 

Economic disparity is a notable issue for the inner-city killings that most people honestly don’t care or act like we care about if we’re being honest.

 

12. Random final thoughts:

 

I don’t know what it will take to wake us up collectively in a way that we do SOMETHING different.

 

While it’s not a white male thing exclusively, it’s astounding how often the worst of the worst events (Parkland, Columbine, Vegas, etc.) are perpetrated by white males and this one wasn’t.

 

This event blew a substantial hole in the let’s have good guys with guns there to handle it.

 

I actually hate that every once in a while I have to share “random” thoughts on topics like this but I do anyway.

 

Grieving in Kauai

A trip to Kauai:

TL;DR I went to grieve and I grieved, I'm back, will move forward and am loved.

I've been absent for about 2 weeks mostly from Facebook. I'm going through some difficult personal stuff.

I have been facing some trauma from childhood and early adulthood. I've gotten strong therapeutic support and also am utilizing a technique called EMDR which has been instrumental for me.

Very briefly EMDR opens up parts of the brain that are associated with a traumatic experience to bring it to the light, bring some new perspective to it and reshape the perspective going forward.

It's been a godsend for me.

I also am going through some other personal challenges I may share about soon. I mostly am sharing that one to one with people in my life.

 

With this as context I went to Kauai.

I was in Kauai last week and decided not to make it a "post as I go" vacation mostly because I was there to let a lot of the emotions and grief of a bunch of stuff flow.

 

And flow it did.

 

I hung out for parts of it with my awesome friend who also created a healing ceremony for me that was magnificent. She's got some otherworldly powers that she brings with love, compassion and certainty.

 

Kauai has a vibration to it that is distinctly maternal/feminine and unmistakably powerful. I didn't take a ton of pictures because the pics don't do it justice.

 

I did post one below that shows a majestic, feminine mountain that was outside the window from where I stayed. It bore witness to my entire experience, ready for me to bring myself to her whenever I chose.

 

Kauai odd mix of modestly living locals and opulently blessed tourists. It's not a cheap place to go.

 

It's an unfortunate reality because it's a freeing experience mostly available to those with means and it seemed that most with means were there to golf, snorkel, zipline, hike, whatever. I'm not sure if the healing power of the island was given to them in an incidental manner.

 

I was there to get it directly.

 

I spent a lot of it by myself and overall doing very little other than lying on the beach. Oddly the most emotional part of the trip was at a random cafe where for one hour I cried my eyes out.

 

As I did a lovely married young woman came over and gently put her hand on my shoulder and simply told me that she witnessed I was going through something. She wasn't there to make it go away, she was seemingly there to tell me I'm not alone.

 

She specifically told me that about 30 minutes later before she left. She also told me that spent almost 2 years in tears with post partum depression after having twins and that she recognized my courage for being out.

 

On the lighter but equally lovely side, I saw a very old man and his wife with their daughter and her young family.

 

As they walked by me a second adult daughter snuck out from the corner and surprised them. They had several long hugs.

I only know the relationship because about 20 minutes later I introduced myself and told them (through tears no surprise) how lovely that moment was to witness.

 

It was like a youtube reunion video come to life.

 

On the strange side at one point a woman walked by walking a black cat. It was fascinating seeing everyone's reaction one by one as the black cat passed by them.

 

The most metaphorically meaningful part of the trip was bodysurfing the last day at Hanalei Beach. The waves were decent size but not huge.

 

It was a part where I could physically let go into the indifference of the power of nature. When I relaxed and let my body be taken I noticed that in the turbulence of the waves, the intelligence and compassion of them brought me to safety.

 

They were simply doing their job.

 

Since I've gotten home I'm carefully paying attention to signs and signals. I am dreaming quite vividly.

 

Who knows what it all might mean?

 

In this time I'm at in my life I'm clear that I'm at a pivot where if I want to deeply trust and rely on God and my faith I can do it. The choice is mine.

 

During this time the number of people who have consistently and reliably told me that they are there for me is astonishing and brings tears to my eyes.

 

Thank you to all of you who love me with such unwavering ferocity. You're my dawgs....

 

 

 

 

 

Notes on Dave Eggers Interview with Michael Lewis

I went to a FABULOUS event last night where authors Dave Eggers (A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, A Hologram for a King) interviewed Michael Lewis (Moneyball, Liar's Poker, Big Short).

They are both Bay Area authors and clearly good friends with different mindsets but similar heart's desire to see our world improve.

I've read books by both of them. It's interesting because Eggers writes like I think, which is both comforting and confronting somehow.

Lewis writes from the byproduct of how my mind seeks things out and I learned more why that's true in the convo.

A few fabulous nuggets from last night:

Lewis said you don't know what book you wrote until people start reading it. He also mentioned how people can come up with two completely different, opposing opinions by reading his books.

They both agree that if we could create ways and encourage younger people from all parts of life to meet it would help us out of the division many of us sense.

Lewis, who is mostly liberal, said he has plenty of Trump friends in his world and he judges people for who they show themselves to be not who they vote for.

He also is launching what sounds like an AMAZING show on Apple TV about Cuban baseball players.

I learned that what makes Michael Lewis so successful is he has a seemingly unquenchable curiosity for stories, often from people we've never heard about.

He told an absolutely HILARIOUS story about how he learned to act like royalty in New Orleans as a kid and it randomly came in handy when he met Princess Diana. OMG it was spectacular.

They discussed the benefit of writing a book and handing it off to a movie maker because they worry less about the movie knowing the book has its own identity.

Lewis said that there are subject matter experts all over the world who have one trait in common: Many of them have no idea how to market themselves so they go unrecognized.

He told a story from his podcast (which is excellent) about Arthur Allen who created a life saving way to look at drift when people are lost at sea that's saved lives but he doesn't think to promote it. (It relates to a post I did on the Sammy awards for the government)

He talked about his book that was on the pandemic but not really about the pandemic.  It's a fascinating story of how a gigantic part of our government is run in about as inefficient and ineffective way.

And somehow certain people in the system make it work in some cases.  He told a story about a meningitis outbreak where a bold female doctor made an individual decision in spite of a misguided organizational edict to the contrary that saved lives.  

Finally Lewis mentioned that he has an idea for a TV show on an all woman's hedge fund that thrives basically on the shortcomings and idiocy of men....fascinating.

Of course I asked a question in Q&A, I always try to at these events, what a great opportunity to interact with thought leaders.

They discussed early on how the US is better than any other nation in the world at expanding our knowledge base and somehow that's dividing us more.

Arthur Allen who created the software (with a team) that helped with drift to save lives did so because he was crushed when a he learned a mom and daughter died at sea because they couldn't find them.

The mom was his wife's age, the daughter was his daughter's age at the time.

So my question was if love and compassion can fuel the expansion of knowledge like this why can't the expansion of knowledge then fuel back into love, compassion and feelings?

They were both intrigued but fairly flat footed about the question. In fact Lewis passed it to Eggers saying "this isn't my expertise". It was such a wonderful moment.

Eventually they both got tot he point mentioned above that the solution begins with younger teenagers, not our generation which I 100% agree with.

And it's perfectly put in their hands because they comparatively value inclusion more than our generation does.

These SF City Arts Lectures are superb. So glad I went.

Some random thoughts on the Buffalo Murders

A few random thoughts on the Buffalo shooting.

I'm sure I'll upset people on all sides of this but so be it.

Summary of points I considered:

Violent speech/postings should be sensibly criminalized
A saltwater analogy to racism
Why Republicans and Democrats don't really care this time
This mass murder has come and gone....anyone surprised?

My thoughts:

I don’t know how to implement it but I think there needs to be some kind of punishment or forced rehabilitation for the kinds of hateful messages that people put online.

I realize that it’s tricky because free speech is a foundation of our nation.

This to me is different than someone who has a different perspective on capital punishment or homelessness or even abortion or discrimination.

There’s a concept called “fitting” an equation. It basically means take an outcome and look at the data to see if there’s a relationship.

And the number of these shootings which have at some point a person posting in parts of the internet Facebook or 4chan is breathtaking.

I’ve read stories where individuals have been charged and they claim “I was not serious” and it’s irrelevant. The person needs to be held to some kind of account.

Is it possible that this shooter in Buffalo has mental illness? Maybe.
And the truth is from the snippets I’ve seen of what he wrote if he is mentally ill, he needs help with that.

If he’s clear minded and not mentally ill the writing is deserving of some kind of consequence.

Two separate women who texted their boyfriends to commit suicide ended up serving time in prison. (Remember the Netflix series on Michelle Carter?)

It’s not exactly the same but it’s similar. Someone’s words should make them accountable.

Admittedly, I’m practically numb to these shootings. Even when a shooting came way to close to my daughter who left a scene a few hours before a shooting in Sacramento still doesn’t seem real.

Sandy Hook forever changed me. I knew when nothing happened then as a nation to re-think how we do things it’s either never going to happen or happen after I’m long gone.

There were I think 3 separate shootings that I saw covered that weekend where multiple people died. And yes I believe that gun violence in all contexts is a nearly incomprehensible problem.

The gun violence in the name of drugs or gangs is seemingly a matter of economic disparity at a minimum. So the solution seems like it’s a different path, but I don’t fully know.

And "innocent" in those situations is at times dubious unless it's a child or other person not involved in any way with the game.

What I’m not numb to is the certainty that there are notable parts of our society that are racist.

And I personally believe if notable parts of our society are racist the case can be reasonably made that we have a racist society.

If I have a glass of pure water and put a pinch of salt in it, it’s now salt water. It doesn’t require a heaping scoop to be salt water.

I have a fairly cynical view that’s going to be kind of controversial.

Democrats haven’t taken up the cause on this one in a overt way.

Republicans have not come out and condemned this act.

In both cases I think they’ve taken that stance because it’s not politically advantageous. And btw, solving gun violence in the inner cities is also not politically advantageous.

You can draw whatever conclusion you want, but to me I think it means that the people who died aren’t as important.

Ever noticed how absolutely silent it is when Boko Haram kidnaps yet another group of young school girls in Africa? Almost nobody cares.

There’s even limited outrage of any kind about Britney Griner.

I’d humbly submit that these are demonstrations that prove that there is more than a pinch of salt in the glass of water.

The man who murdered attendees at a Taiwanese church gathering in some ways is similar. I could write a whole separate post on that.

And for my money, if that guy was posting hateful stuff online about Taiwanese citizens I’d consider consequences for that too.

If gun control is just not possible, is it possible that a thoughtful more stringent approach to personal accountability to the speech possible?

Honestly I'm undecided on the impact of words/speech by media personalities and politicians. Blaming them in some ways eliminates personal accountability which I'm not in favor of.

But to think it has no impact is too simple (note the "pouring in" words the Buffalo murderer/terrorist used).

Yes, I used the word terrorist which means someone who attacks civilian for a political purpose and I believe blatant racism has at least some political purpose, even though he professed that he disagreed with people on all sides it seems.

I was encouraged when the parents of that school shooter were charged. Remember that mass murder?

It was the one before the other 5 that came before the next 10.

School shootings are like Starbucks, there are so many of them that you forget which is which.

Finally this murder spree has more or less come and gone. The commentary on it was practically non existent (vs other police shootings or even mass shootings) in my social graph. And most people have moved on.

While not surprising, it’s unfortunate. It’s a data point on a downward slope of likelihood that things will change.

Jerrod Carmichael's Rothaniel is a MUST See

Jerrod Carmichael's Rothaniel (HBO) is spectacular.

It's a 54 minute show in a small, packed New York venue. It's unlike any special I've ever seen.

It's not quite a stand up show (literally...he sits the whole time) and there's some fantastic jokes.

He admits a big truth about himself, that he's gay (which is all over social media) and it's not quite an "admittance" show.

It's an intimate, deep look into how family dynamics impact our hearts and minds. He touches on a set of subjects broad and wide that he clearly has yet to make sense of.

Most heartbreaking and deep is how he works through his relationship with his Mom. I've literally never seen anything like it. It cut deep for me as I am continuing to make sense of my own relationship with my mom which brought me to tears in the show.

He does what could be called "crowd work" and it's not quite that. The questions and comments from the audience are so raw and direct that he wobbles at times to respond to them.

The uncertainty of his responses on it are so connective to watch. There are also moments where he admits he WANTS to make jokes because it's so emotional.

The directing by Bo Burnham is fantastic. He has a way of cutting from a few views to nearly take us into the venue. It felt intimate just watching it.

It's a next level performance worthy of a watch.

The Adele Effect: A shocking connective Karaoke experience

The Adele Effect:

I went to a Karaoke party recently in my neighborhood. My 'hood is filled with young professionals who like to party.

As such, the bar (which is awesome called Silver Clouds in SF) was jam packed with mostly young men and women.

The women were pretty partiers mostly.

The dudes....they were often big, in shape dudes' dudes. Probably work out, play sports, etc.

Often that night they were seen chest bumping each other, a group of them were taking turns punching a hanging speed bag to see who could score the most and yelping their barbaric yelp.

The songs being chosen were mostly the kind of stuff you'd expect at a Karaoke club.

However, at one point a woman got on stage and had chosen "Someone Like You" by Adele.

I had never heard the song before and something magically unexpected happened.

Nearly EVERY person, young, old, in/out of shape, man and woman started soulfully belting out this tune by Adele. It was almost inexplicable.

The unbelievable thing was NOBODY was looking at the screen for the words, they ALL knew them. I was shocked.

Earlier in the evening I met and our hoops group adopted a lesbian couple that had recently gotten married they were BELTING the song out along with everyone else as I sat next to them.

They were the ones that told me it was Adele. Several of my hoops buddies were singing their hearts song along with Adele.

These two young men (one black, one white) both over 6 feet, in incredible shape with a group of women were near us too going all America's Got Talent or The Voice.

I pulled the black dude aside and told him that he totally owned the song.

He said to me "I f**cking LOVE that song!!!" and we became friends for the rest of the evening, dancing together at one point to Love Shack.

I've never seen anything like it. And I learned today (but will share it tomorrow) more about what the song is about and it makes the whole experience even MORE unbelievable.

One of my peak Karaoke experiences of all time came from the unexpected connective beauty of a song that transcends race, gender, sexuality, age and apparently alcohol intake.

Thank you Adele....

53 thoughts on my 53rd birthday

1. Life explains itself better as it goes by than I do trying to explain it
2. This year a small group of people left my life replaced by a large group of incredible people
3. Stand Up Comedy is stronger than the forces trying to cancel it
4. In my 50’s, I’m starting to pull muscles I didn’t even know I had
5. Addiction is better combatted personally by addressing the demand through recovery than the supply which can be
6. Working on my issues is the single most impactful thing I can do for the world
7. Writing is super easy until I have to write
8. We are in the Golden Age of TV
9. Ted Lasso’s first and second season show the magnificence of the beloved range of humanity
10. The reason so many people like me is I’m willing to admit and share where I don’t like myself
11. My daughter is still the number one teacher in my life
12. My daughter is the relationship in my life that is the perfect example where my duty to be my best meets my desire to be my best
13. Expecting something different from people is sometimes a GREAT teacher and the lesson learned isn’t necessarily for me to lower my expectations
14. I miss my Dad
15. At 53 I’m a better basketball player than I was at 23
16. At 53 my hair is better than it was at 23
17. It’s on me to keep up with how the younger generation is changing and bring a perspective of emotional fluency and understanding to it rather than trying to control or stop it
18. The immediacy of listening to what I want far outweighs the joy of unexpectedly hearing a song on a radio
19. The emotional wounds of the pandemic life will last as long as we don’t identify and work on them
20. Family is family is a way of describing just how difficult family is and ultimately the only family I REALLY owe my life work to is my daughter
21. I’d rather hang out with Taylor Swift than Eddie Vedder
22. Personal branding still sucks, I’d rather us just be who we are and let THAT be your “brand”
23. Social media is simply a channel, our emotional and spiritual health trumps it every single time
24. My God is way better than the God I was awkwardly intro’d to as a kid
25. Having won a Super Bowl, I’m less impacted by the ups and downs of my beloved Chiefs and I’ll never leave them
26. My high school and college friends and I are all idiots with each other I wouldn’t want it any other way
27. It’s getting increasingly harder to be a young man to adjust to showing up for young women in the way I think they deserve, it’s scary, I get it
28. As I should be dead given my addiction, I’m playing life with house money
29. Life is improv, I ask myself how am I saying “yes and” to it
30. My 100% grounded no’s lead me to my 100% grounded yes’s
31. I don’t kick people out of my life because of their politics, I kick them out if they’re jerks about their politics
32. Writers are the most interesting people in Hollywood
33. Saying I have white privilege is not an insult or make me feel guilty, it’s a possible invitation to a perspective broadening discussion or you’re lobbing judgment my way, I’ll figure out which one it is quickly
34. We parents who don’t actively work on ourselves or get help are damaging our children, I know because I did and on a daily basis I try to live differently and let my daughter know she can ask or talk about when I was creating problems
35. I don’t particularly care if you don’t get vaccinated, nor do I particularly care how angry you might be if you choose not to and there are consequences
36. When you deconstruct the way NFT’s are valued, it makes perfect sense and resembles a ton of other asset classes
37. I’m SUPER proud of myself for having launched a podcast about something I care about
38. Listening to songs that remind me of my ex gf show me where I am in healing from it
39. Most of my emotional difficulties today relate to emotional wounds from my childhood
40. Well set boundaries are WAY more connecting than isolating
41. If audio books were better integrated with the actual books, I’d buy more actual books
42. I have an awesome voice, I finally get it
43. “It is what it is” is one of the most damaging, misused spiritual axiom that we use
44. I love people who love me for who I am and are courageous enough to point out where I have room to grow
45. Dating can either be fun or a drag, it’s my choice
46. I value people who are smarter than me as much as I value people who aren’t who are curious question askers to help us understand each other
47. The slower I go the wider the flow
48. There is NO reason sex shouldn’t be openly discussed
49. We should welcome women to talk about periods, PMS, Menopause whatever it’s a beautiful, natural and men and women BOTH have a role in making this a reality
50. San Francisco is the best city I’ve ever been in and is not nearly as accepting and liberal as many think it is
51. We need a new word for love, it’s not nuanced enough
52. When I hated or hate myself it’s more achievable for me to get to self like than it is self love
53. At 53 I’m finally coming to terms with how many people love me and like me

Stepping back into life WHILE grieving

Stepping back into life:

 

So after talking it over with people I trust and my therapist I've decided that it's not disrespectful of my Dad or my process to get back into my life AND still be grieving.

 

It's admittedly a little hard for me to type that and it's a nuanced choice.

 

I'm choosing to still let myself grieve when it washes up on me.

 

I'm choosing to live rather than not be in the rhythm of life.

 

I'm choosing to be aware of holding both of those things as true.

 

I don't know how to describe the feelings of these choices. Somehow it's scary, hopeful, sad, joyful, uncertain and confident all at the same time.

 

I wonder if by doing this I'll live differently. I honestly hope I do.

 

Somehow I think all of this stuff brought up around my Dad and all the related lines it's lit up would be squandered if I didn't.

 

It's undeniable that when people in my life are grieving, I will have a different perspective on it.

 

Whether it's a relationship, the loss of a loved one, any kind of challenge I want to feel and think I will hold that space differently, patiently. I'll come to you where invited and love you when I'm not.

 

As for me, I'm going to take these last few weeks of big darkness into my heart and soul. I hope it will fuel me, that's the intention.

 

My relationship with my daughter has been forever deepened and strengthened. She showed up in ways that instilled a level of gratitude and confidence in the woman she is in ways that no other event has.

 

My relationship with myself has somehow become more personal. I know that's hard to understand. It's just I'm more....intimate....with me.

 

I wish I could describe it without being in front of you and looking into your eyes and maybe just being in each other's presence. It's a felt thing.

 

It doesn't mean I'll never be hard on myself again, it means I'll may forget myself less frequently.

 

I promise (even if just to myself) I'm going to keep trying to share about this with my gift to write. It's like a Jackson Pollock painting with spatters of color everywhere (including black).

 

And if life is colorful, grief is a 1,000 sided rubik's cube.

 

I'll probably never be the same after this in some fundamental way that I can't express.

 

I do know who showed up for me in every way during this, I'll never forget that, you are in my tribe, for good.

 

For those who are new in my life and did, I'm your warrior for life.

 

And for those who have been there a long time and came in strong, you are my dawgs, every day all night, you are my dawgs.

 

Like my DAWGS ok? You feel me?

 

I honestly don't know how much closer I am to God but I certainly have been asking for guidance from my version of God.

 

I see people more clearly now. The human condition has us all in the spin cycle on some level. But I don't need to keep feeding quarters to clean people that aren't committed to the cleaning.

 

I just hope there's enough fabric softener in the dryer for us to come out with a bit of softness and fit, smelling sweet.

 

We are either in the work or we're not.

 

I'm also guessing there's some humor in all this. I'll find that too.

 

Ordinarily I write with quite a bit of ease about things deep and wide. And I thought by waiting I'd get clear enough to explain all that's going in me and it's not coming.

 

So, maybe just getting back into life I'll find that muse of grief that seems to sing its tear jerking song to my heart. And then I'll be able to tell you about it.

 

I can't tell you for sure that's what my Dad would want. But I can tell you for sure that's the son I want to be to honor my Dad.

 

And today that's good enough for me.