T-M-I from T-I-M

Review: Being Mary Tyler Moore on HBO (2023)

TL;DR: I knew very little about Mary Tyler Moore and wasn't a big fan and this documentary is a must see.




The Mary Tyler Moore documentary on HBO is compelling and fascinating. I knew almost nothing about her personally.

The only real roles I knew her for were the mom in Ordinary People and Flirting With Disaster. I was a marginal Dick Van Dyke Show fan and never watched the Mary Tyler Moore show.

Given the roles I knew her for which were either a quite flawed, unwilling to change or an over the top at times inappropriate mom I hadn’t really connected with her as a major TV star.

The documentary is held together by a couple of incredible interviews with her and Rona Barrett, Dinah Shore, David Letterman (his daytime show) and others. It also includes a number of interviews, most of which you don’t see the person, friends, family members, etc.

She was an entertainment vanguard.

She was super progressive in her shows for the time. For example, she was the first woman on TV who wore pants instead of those god-awful dresses I’d see women doing chores in.

She also was a comedic actor trailblazer. It’s described exquisitely how she achieved it.

More impactful was that the Mary Tyler Moore shore was groundbreaking as it was supposed to be the first show with a divorced woman as the main role. CBS scrapped the idea as unacceptable (incredible factoid).

She played the role out as a single woman in Minneapolis and a working, career-oriented woman.

Not surprisingly given that, the writers included the first woman who ever wrote on a national broadcast sitcom. Unbelievably the creator was James L. Brooks (yes THAT one from the Simpsons).

It was fascinating to see how it played out that she was an advocate of women’s rights. She and her team pushed the envelope and yet it tells a story where Gloria Steinem said it wasn’t enough.

She was a kind of America’s sweetheart. It was fascinating to see how she ended up with two incredible casts with spectacular writing rooms.

And yet the doc also tells the stories of how she handled rejection and difficulty. So much so she almost didn’t take on the Dick Van Dyke show.

The show really took off when it moved into how she moved to New York and took on new roles and personas that were so different. I LOVED her in Ordinary People (one of my top 5 movies of all time).

I couldn’t understand how she could step so deeply into that role and become this person who I somehow both despised and felt sorry for.

I learned that her family life was full of misunderstanding, difficulty, alcoholism and tragedy. I thought the documentary emphasized this at the perfect time with the perfect weight. It didn’t feel overwhelming and it set the perfect context.

It reminded me of those pictures that used to look like a bunch of random colors and shapes until you looked through it or at it slightly differently and suddenly a rocket ship would appear.

It opened my eyes to who she really was. It’s like her whole career and personal life were the whole story. She loved dancing as a child, it was her first passion.

Towards the end of the doc she says something like “I consider myself a failed dancer and a successful actress.”

During all those interviews there’s this somewhat frenetic energy that seems to protect some core part of herself.

The documentary does an incredible job of illuminating that core part of herself. She was a multi-dimensional, quite wounded woman.

It’s so profound to see the parallel between her doing the “everything looks dreamy” type roles while her insides had a lot of turmoil and her role Ordinary People (a movie about that subject on a familial level).

Not surprisingly, there are some serious tear jerker scenes in the documentary.

The most poignant is a scene in the Mary Tyler Moore Show with the actor who plays her father. Mary had a challenging relationship with her father (her parents are touched on somewhat mostly by reference).

I won’t spoil it. I will tell you that the poignant dynamic of unsaid things finally really said is emotional writing at the very highest level.

I didn’t know that she lost her son to a what they describe as a gun accident, it’s heartbreaking. It was another reminder that when a parent loses a child I think in almost every case a piece of that parent is lost. It’s as if a slice of the soul lifts out of their body.

The final scenes of the movie include a stunning list of women actors who credit their emergence and success partly or substantially to Mary Tyler Moore. It's really moving.

After watching it, I’m not a bigger fan of hers. I don’t feel compelled to watch either TV series. I do feel slightly compelled to watch Ordinary People again.

This movie is a perfect piece of art that demonstrates stories well told make the resonance, interest or even fandom of the subject secondary.

For me the documentary became a human interest story and a powerful reminder of how our stories matter if we only ask about them.

Mary Tyler Moore's story is somehow fun, sad, moving, hopeful and connecting. I would never have thought it could be.

#marytylermoore #BeingMaryTylerMoore

Movie review: The Banshees of Inisherin

Movie review: The Banshees of Inisherin

TL;DR: The Banshees of Inisherin is a warm movie which explores the volcanic fire of the life defining fork in the road of the familiar vs the unknown.

I read this won best film at the Golden Globes. I knew nothing else about it other than Colin Farrell was in it who I generally like.

Thank goodness based on those two pieces of info I watched it.

The movie is about the struggle of whether to stay with the familiar in life. It’s done in the context of a town so small that I actually felt claustrophobia at times. It was as if there was no escaping any of it because they all saw and knew each other.

The script and movie roll out like a comfortable blanket with thorns.

It’s somehow both overt and subtle. There are scenes devoted to a character walking a road from home to the pub etc.

It felt freeing as it gave me some time to consider how the story was playing out.

The plotline centers on a broken friendship revealed very early in the movie.

Colin Farrell (Padraic) and Brendan Gleason (Colm), who as also the Sheriff in Gangs of New York) were long time friends who visited the pub daily. One day Colm no longer wants to go or be friends because he realized Padraic was in his words “boring”.

Farrell and Gleason were fabulous in In Bruges in which they have a natural chemistry which continues here.

The entire arc with all of the sub-stories is powerful. It’s a study in the friction between keeping things as they are and growing and/or moving on.

Colm is distressed and inspired that he hasn’t really explored life, the arts, risk taking, etc. Padraic doesn’t fit.

It’s so evocative as they both struggle with it, each pulling their own way. Padraic yearns for kindness, Colm yearns for freedom.

As the movie progresses Padraic keeps trying and without spoiling it Colm gets increasingly strident about ending the friendship (including a pretty gnarly act).

Padraic gets increasingly desperate to change that. The more he tries the worse it gets.

I’ve never seen a movie where eyebrows could be so expressive. I’m not sure if they were his but Farrell uses his eyebrows to communicate a range of emotions I’ve never seen before.

In contrast Gleason is almost non plussed by his certainty that he was doing the right thing and his expressions and body showed it.

Their conflict culminates with a series of events that are brilliant and painful. It’s puts SO much of the movie together that I almost couldn’t keep up, despite the comfortable pace of the movie.

Two other characters were quite compelling (aside from Jenny the donkey):

Padraic’s sister Siobhan, played by Kerry Condon (who is in a bunch of stuff I’ve seen but I don’t remember her) is fabulous. She is compelling as a straight talking, reliable woman who is emotionally cut deeply by an unexpected source in the movie.

It puts her square in the face of a similar decision to stay the same or move out and on. Her chemistry with Farrell is special.

Dominic (played by Barry Keoghan) is a disabled in some way friend who is also a straight talking character refusing to not say what he thought. His arc of staying the same vs changing is unexpected at a minimum. His father is physically abusive with disastrous consequences.

When the Dad realizes it, again the script and movie is both subtle and powerfully overt.

This small town lives safely distant from an ongoing war which is a perfect analogy for what the characters seem to struggle with.

For anyone reading this who, like me, is in the struggle of doing the familiar vs the meaningful, with its attendant risks, this film will get to your heart and soul.

The movie’s portrayal of the difficulty of that outer conflict expressed my inner conflict.

Given these last few points the magnificence of the movie’s beauty is rooted in both the script and the on screen chemistry between Gleason and Farrell.

The gentle pace of the script and the beauty of the landscape leverages that chemistry in a deep and impactful way.

It’s fascinating and meaningful to me that the film will not have a sequel but its impact on me will go far beyond the movie.

Martial Arts meets kindness: Everything Everywhere All at Once

 

I saw Everything Everywhere All at Once with my daughter Zoe on Saturday and it’s almost hard to put into words how powerful it is.

 

In an odd way it’s a perfect Mother’s Day movie.

 

The only thing I knew going into it was that a lot of people I respect loved it. And I’m glad I followed my intuition to see it and I loved it.

 

It was an exercise in trust putting my heart and attention into the hands of the creators and performers, the trust was well rewarded.

 

Basically, the script focuses on an essentially lost woman who is unhappy in her marriage, scared of her father and has a fractured relationship with her daughter.

 

AND from the starting point of a dingy laundromat they own, her and her family are involved in a CRAZY set of amazing martial art battles across a series of concurrent realities called the multiverse to find her "it".

 

The entire story revolves around the realization that she has made small choices throughout her life creating her current reality. And the concurrent universes show her what her life “could have been” like.

 

It’s really hard to explain this story, no matter how good I am at writing.

 

It’s part Matrix, part Euphoria, part Arrival, part Parenthood, part Ted Lasso part Monsters Inc (yes!) and so much more.

 

Yet, it's kinda stunning or mind blowing that a film could pick amongst so many story telling and filmmaking devices that are familiar and STILL be totally original.

 

I’ve been saying this the last couple years, we are in the golden age of entertainment. The films, TV shows, music speak to issues in creative and powerful and compelling ways that I’ve never experienced.

 

The film takes on subjects like how living in the past damages our children, how living in fear with people we love damages possibilities to connect, how hard it can be to be a young person today, how choosing kindness and love can be fierce and so many other topics.

 

So much of it has to do with seeing, accepting and loving (no matter HOW flawed that love is) people for who they are.

 

There are some parts that are just WEIRD yet there is a point. At one point the characters have “hot dog fingers” that aren’t usable and they adjust. It’s the PERFECT way to describe how we find ways to share what we have even when we have shortcomings.

 

How the movie also picks from the "unchosen" lives from the Multiverse to unlock the mom's potential in the present "chosen" life is a fascinating plot device.

 

The heartbreaking way the movie depicts how the daughter moves through the world when there is SO much to take in simultaneously that she has vision into all of it without a way to really talk about it with her mom in particular.

 

I can tell you (without spoiling it) the last scene with the mother and the daughter is cinema at the highest level. It is deeply, deeply moving to feel the moment when judgment and separation melts away through courage and honesty.

 

I so appreciate coming out of the film how small choices get us to where we are and so small choices can get us to where we'd like to go regardless of where we are.

 

One seemingly small aspect of the film that feels innovative is that I loved is how it’s a true hybrid Chinese/English speaking film. I have never seen that before. It FEELS like being in a multi-generational Chinese household which I think is a great device I’d like to see more to see more cultures on film.

 

The cast is both nostalgic and talented:

 

I didn’t know until the end that the lead female actor was Michelle Yeoh who is a martial arts goddess.

 

Her husband was the young Asian kid in the lousy Temple of Doom Indiana Jones movie but his voice sounded SO familiar throughout and does a GREAT job portraying a guy who wants to have fun in life.

 

The father is David Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China (omg old school!).

 

Jamie Lee Curtis is OUTSTANDING as a crazy IRS agent villain.

 

And the daughter named Stephanie Hsu who I’ve never seen before was so lovely as the daughter portraying the difficulty, confusion and near despair of being a young woman balanced with the full hearted desire to be what she wanted to be in the world.

 

Zoe and I both laughed out loud during it, both wondered WTF during it and both cried at the end (although I cried several other times during it).

 

It’s a movie that can be quite understood and decided on based on a review, it can only be experienced and I’m glad I did.

Jerrod Carmichael's Rothaniel is a MUST See

Jerrod Carmichael's Rothaniel (HBO) is spectacular.

It's a 54 minute show in a small, packed New York venue. It's unlike any special I've ever seen.

It's not quite a stand up show (literally...he sits the whole time) and there's some fantastic jokes.

He admits a big truth about himself, that he's gay (which is all over social media) and it's not quite an "admittance" show.

It's an intimate, deep look into how family dynamics impact our hearts and minds. He touches on a set of subjects broad and wide that he clearly has yet to make sense of.

Most heartbreaking and deep is how he works through his relationship with his Mom. I've literally never seen anything like it. It cut deep for me as I am continuing to make sense of my own relationship with my mom which brought me to tears in the show.

He does what could be called "crowd work" and it's not quite that. The questions and comments from the audience are so raw and direct that he wobbles at times to respond to them.

The uncertainty of his responses on it are so connective to watch. There are also moments where he admits he WANTS to make jokes because it's so emotional.

The directing by Bo Burnham is fantastic. He has a way of cutting from a few views to nearly take us into the venue. It felt intimate just watching it.

It's a next level performance worthy of a watch.

Movie Review: The French Dispatch

I watched the film The French Dispatch Sunday and it is a MUST see.

It’s fascinating for me because after seeing stars jammed into disappointing films Licorice Pizza and Don’t Look Up this was PACKED with huge stars and was a total joy to watch.

It’s a Wes Anderson film who makes films that I feel like I should like more but just don’t and some GREAT ones. 

Rushmore and the VASTLY underrated and still little known Bottle Rocket are delightful if not uncomfortable at times to watch.  Yet I thought more artsy movies like The Life Aquatic and Moonrise Kingdom and others were meh at best.

This was different.

The premise is really simple.  The French Dispatch is printed publication and the final edition is to be published on the creator’s (Bill Murray) death.  Each scene is a different story in the final magazine.

The script is fantastic, the visuals are lovely, the pace is perfect it hits on every level.

I wish I could say this in some other way but I can’t.  Nearly every actress and actor in it has home run time on screen where they perfectly play their part and don’t try to make it more than it is.

My favorite is a rock star segment featuring Jeffrey Wright and Liev Schreiber in a 70’s looking interview show where Jeffrey Wright is describing his story.  The film switches into the story itself and then comes back to the interview.  The two actors have such a lovely rapport between them that is easy going and silky smooth to enjoy.

A close second is an imprisoned artist story featuring Benicio Del Toro, Tilde Swinton and Adrien Brody which ushers in the idea of Modern Art.  It mirrors a line Bill Murray says that when writing something make it seem that you meant for it be that way if it’s a bit strange.  The writing attacks the world of Modern Art that is so on point for me.

There’s a story about a revolution/manifesto including Frances McDormand and one of my favorite young actors in the world Timothee Chalamet who I absolutely adored in Little Women and several other films.  It was a little edgy at times but the way the movie frames the unstable foundations of protests and movements is spectacular.

One more features a kidnapping story that was fascinating that does an incredible switch between real life and animated action that is just wonderful to watch.  Interestingly Owen Wilson who is another all time fave whose story is good, first but not the best. 

Bill Murray is his understated and obvious best in the movie.  His timing remains impeccable and he’s hard not to love.  He vibes with all of the actors/actresses eccentricities beautifully.

Guess what?  I didn’t even mention above that the movie includes Ed Norton, Saoirse Ronan, Willem Dafoe, Elizabeth Moss, Henry Winkler/Bob Balaban (in a REALLY funny cameo as uncles) and others.

Here’s the deal.

The movie isn’t great because it’s got a bunch of stars in it.  The movies is made greater because the huge names in it play their roles for what they are without trying to make more of it than it is.

Remember We are the World by USA for Africa?  Great song but remember when every singer tried to show their entire repertoire in 7 seconds, it’s icky.

Remember Licorice Pizza and Don’t Look Up?   Those films seemingly just jammed the actors/actresses in either to have them in it or because it may have been chic to be in it.

I’m not naïve, I’m sure it was chic to be in The French Dispatch but the script and film brings out what’s best in this cast not the other way around.  It almost felt like it was a group that got together for a Broadway production to work at scale.

The film is a touch long and does get it a little on the high intellectual side at times and yet I was transfixed. 

Wes Anderson got this one right I hope you check it out.  Oh and if you haven’t seen Bottle Rocket PLEASE watch it 😊

When Pinball was banned in the USA (1940's-1976)

I committed myself to learn something new every day and this was Day 202.  It's so good I had to put it on my blog:

 

Pinball was banned from the early 1940's until 1976 first in NY but then in LA, Chicago, Milwaukee and New Orleans followed suit.

The movie Licorice Pizza (which I reviewed and was disappointed by) briefly includes this in the plot. I thought it was made up, I was wrong.

The stated purpose at the time was that it's to protect children from wasting their money and probably their time too. It was somehow also folded into the idea of war time waste of resources.

It became the world of the rebels until 1976 when the CA Supreme Court struck it down.

Unbelievably "During the 1960 presidential election, Republicans tried to smear Democratic candidate John F. Kennedy by releasing a group photograph that included him with a silent partner in an Indiana pinball operation." (see article link below)

I take two really important things from this story:

SO many people complain about video games these days. I get they are by design more addictive these days. And that worry misplaced or not predated us.

Politics is ALWAYS politics.

Same as it EVER was.

https://www.history.com/news/that-time-america-outlawed-pinball 

Film Review: Assassination Nation is a KILLER film

Last night I watched Assassination Nation and it was nothing short of spectacular.

 

It portrays the damaging impact of social media/technology on, in particular, young women and a writer’s perspective on how they strike back.

 

It features four absolutely scintillating actresses as the main four young women. Every one of them has screen time that is can’t miss cinema. In my opinion Hari Nef who is a transgender woman rose above all of them.

 

Without giving up too much of the plot it’s a story about four very close high school seniors who are put in a dangerous position of being blamed for a hack that’s destroying a town, interestingly called Salem.

 

The four young women are chased violently around the city and they react and triumph violently.

 

I am ALL IN for creative pieces that help me get into the minds and hearts of young men and women who are subject to the difficulty of technology and social media. I am also completely here for the challenges that parents face and fall short of in helping our kids through it.

 

The movie is visually stunning. It integrates texting, technology and script nearly flawlessly. It’s a tad hard to keep up at some points but it’s not a dealbreaker.

 

Sam Levinson wrote and directed the film. He also wrote a bunch of Euphoria episodes which makes perfect sense.

 

He has a way of sensationalizing the core fears, anger, hurt and desire for understanding that young people I think have that is unparalleled. (The movie S**thouse is another good example of a writer who I really resonate with)

 

There is a scene in this movie where Lily (Odessa Young) tries to explain to her principal why she drew a suggestive and sexual woman for an art piece. It was a stunning piece of acting and writing that absolutely captivated me in trying to understand a new perspective.

 

As for Hari Nef, she was magnetic, charismatic, powerful and vulnerable in a way that I rarely see on screen. She gives voice to the challenges, anger and hurt of transgender women in a way that was both heartbreaking and captivating.

 

Her powerful sensuality and emotional presence left me wanting more every time she was onscreen.

 

Admittedly, I went into the film seeing Joel McHale hoping I’d get some comic relief and absolutely didn’t. He is a dark, deeply disturbed character worthy of attention.

 

The film does a TREMENDOUS job showing how the group think mob mentality sometimes takes deeply hurt and downright hypocritical people down AND takes down good, hard working people looked at through a distorted lens that leaves us all the worse off.

 

I readily admit this was a movie when rotten people were killed or maimed, violently, I cheered. Is it my best side? Probably not, but art accesses all parts of us.

 

The climax (and I use that word intentionally) of the film when the four young women storm the town and gather an army of powerful, angry, devoted young women behind them in a very violent way had me in tears.

 

In its own way it reminded me of the end of Revenge of the Nerds (old school).

 

It’s hard to describe why a film that is graphically violent could have me so tearful but I’ll try. This film tries to access what is the reality that the velocity of how fast things are changing for our daughters is spectacular. They want to be seen, heard, felt in ways that we MUST adjust to.

 

In fact fighting that only widens the division and makes things even MORE difficult. There is behavior in the film that is confronting and not what I’d want my daughter engaging in and yet it’s my job to be there for her when (NOT if) she makes mistakes.

This film helps me feel the challenge.

 

I realize that films like this or series like Squid Game are hard to watch and yet their messages are important. I’m not a huge violence fan but if it’s used in the context of expressing a connective and deep message I’m far more open to it.

 

Assassination Nation is not very nuanced and yet the levels of the messages are deep and wide. It’s a can’t miss piece of cinema art.

 

Movie Review: CODA

Last night I watched the movie CODA on Apple+ on the recommendation of a dear friend and strongly recommend watching it. Watching it on Sunday nigh felt perfect as we used to watch family movies as a kid at that time.

This is one, in my estimation, that every family could watch together.

It’s a nourishing, loving, uplifting movie about a tight and flawed family as a young daughter tries to find herself (yeah I cried a lot). The mom, dad and son are all deaf, the daughter isn’t.

 

The daughter Ruby, played by Emilia Jones who I’ve never seen, plays a young woman who loves to sing and is challenged by essentially playing the role of the channel to the outer world for her entire family. The only person I’ve seen in the movie is Marlee Matlin who is again terrific.

 

The daughter decides to give singing a try joining the choir.

 

The song that ends up being central to the plot is “You’re All I Need to Get By” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell which is really special to me and Zoe. We used to sing that song together when I’d drive her to school.

 

The first time the song is presented, every early on, I was in tears. Later in the movie the song’s relevance is perfectly described.

I really like art that takes on what duty means in a family, parents in particular and how our kids struggle to be seen and find their path.

 

The script (written by a woman named Sian Heder) takes issues of what are the real fears and hopes in a family. The whole point of parenting being a journey to help our kids self actualize and get out there to take risks, fail, succeed while always knowing we got their backs however we can is portrayed with real heart.

 

The Dad in the movie, played by Troy Kotsur, is a big Mick Fleetwood looking guy who is a rough Massachusetts fisherman. He is unapologetically expressive and it was downright magnificent to experience him use sign language and his entire being to express his thoughts and feelings.

 

There is a seminal scene (which I won’t spoil) where this giant man has a beyond tender moment with Ruby that is one of the more beautiful expressions of the desire to feel and support a daughter. The script and scene has no words from the Dad which is even more meaningful.

 

It’s been a LONG time since I cried that hard watching a scene in the movie. It’s a worthy piece of art when those tears cried so freely are not from sadness.

 

It’s like I feel seen. It’s like the writer has pulled something that’s very difficult to fully explain and brings it to existence in words and then ultimately on film.

 

The movie certainly takes a lot of what’s been done (a little John Hughes movies, a little Mask (the Cher movie), a little Little Miss Sunshine, a little Parenthood, and others) and yet makes it its own.

 

And let’s face it any movie that might combine those movies even if just a little bit is probably worth a try.

 

I can assure you CODA is.

 

Review: Dave Chappelle: The Closer (Netflix)

REVIEW: Dave Chappelle: The Closer (Netflix)

The length of this reflects a careful consideration of an important piece of comedic art.

I watched the Dave Chapelle comedy special The Closer on Netflix twice. I realize some of this will upset some people I know (if they aren’t already by the fact that I watched it twice).

I’m putting this up because I’m willing to take the arrows. However, I’m only willing to take arrows from any of you that actually watched this show.

I am trans & LGBTQ supportive (although I do eat Chik Fil A, but dayum Popeye’s gives them a run). I endorse nearly every right they are fighting for and the dignity they deserve.

I’m also a novice comic.

I think Dave Chapelle is one of the most brilliant and thoughtful comedians of our generation. He is also (for me) uneven.

Killin’ Them Softly is one of the funniest comedy specials I’ve ever seen. His first Netflix one was ok not great.

I tried his show and never quite got into it (although the black blind old KKK guy is one of the funniest TV skits I’ve ever seen).

I’ve seen him live and he was transcendent. He performed for 3 and a half hours. He was terrific on 8:46 and on David Letterman’s interview show.

Comics are meant to push edges. It’s part of the art.

And in my humble opinion I want the greatest comics of our generation on those edges. FULLY knowing that they will make really big mistakes.

I’m not a fan of pushing edges when the jokes aren’t good, particularly when the subject matter the comic goes into is really touchy for whatever reason.

Put simply I’d rather have Chappelle trying things out that come out as offensive to Jewish people (which I obviously don’t want) than a random well known average comic trying to comment on difficult topics (paging Michael Richards…).

I’ll try not to give away the jokes, but then again if you’ve read this far, it’s probable you watched it.

There were times during this special when the concentric circles met that the jokes were in touchy territory and weren’t funny to me.

It wasn’t frequent but it happened for sure. I wasn’t a fan of the Transylvania or the physical attributes in the audience to signal a trans person.

I didn’t really like the one about the movie about Jewish people either.

He also rolled out some REALLY funny lines that I know offend some people. The metoo, Catholic Priest, LGBTQ and Trans material I know did.

Somehow at times he got me laughing at something that as I’m laughing I almost questioned myself as to why (the perfect one is a joke about him being the leader of the feminist movement with an absolutely cutting tag).

And yet, it is also one of the most thoughtful pieces of comedy that I’ve seen in a REALLY long time. I think he takes what Richard Pryor was trying to do and builds on it.

Dave Chappelle is fearless. He was willing to say just about anything on stage during the set.

He brings in toxic masculinity oddly, an MLK impression with words that are stunning and a text from a black woman writer friend about the women’s march that had me in tears laughing.

And for those of you that don’t nerd out on comedy like I do he is a master at a technique called the “callback”. He brings back parts of his routine later in the show in spectacular fashion.

He is an absolute master at timing and delivery (I think only Ellen is better). He also is fabulous at doing voices and physical comedy (he does a hand clapping while talking that is beyond funny).

It’s nerdy stuff that a novice comic like me is amazed by.

He brought up how feminism is inclusive (by definition) and the exclusionary approach is damaging and somehow weaves in Sojourner Truth (WOW).

He touched on the difference that DaBaby killed a black person in NC and got no heat and his latest awful words got him cancelled.

He brought up the difficulty of being black and hearing other groups get so angry for having been judged for decades. And he weaves in a story about a black South Carolina farmer who was formerly a slave and became a brutal slave owner.

It’s like we’re getting a history lesson and a comedy show all in one. It’s contextual evidence for a dynamic that he still sees today.

More than anything else, he calls out (with a perspective) what is the differences between how we think in a way that tries to build some kind of bridge to talk about it.

It’s NOT easy (he touched on that specifically in the David Letterman piece).

I could hear him in his performance trying to be respectful of using the right words (he mentions how he specifically uses trans not tranny which is hurtful).

The home run was when told a story about a trans woman comedian named Daphne Dorman that I won’t give away except to tell you I heard him tell that story live in San Francisco.

It was almost exactly the same story and when he told it that night you could hear a freaking pin drop.

We were totally transfixed.

That night I was moved. Yesterday when I watched it I was in tears when he talked about her, what she went through as he supported him and what happened to her.

He tried to thread a needle and at times came in hard.

He made it clear that from his perspective a great deal of the issues that create the division and difficulty start from white people who don’t get it or want to get it.

I don’t 100% get his intent at the very end of the show in terms of what his desire is for ensuring everyone is laughing. That’s an impossibility.

By definition some people will be pissed off for what a comic says at times. It’s part of the deal.

I am saddened by how comedy seems to be getting into a smaller and smaller box. We HAVE to learn how to talk about and laugh about important, difficult subjects.

I was texting with a friend about Eddie Murhpy’s Comedian which we all loved at that time. That did NOT age well and it was genius at the time. I wonder how this one will age.

It’s different and I’m willing to engage in dialog on things that push the edges and maybe even see where I have some blind spots.

I came out of this special with a deeper understanding of myself. I also came out with a stronger devotion to those beliefs for every group he addressed and even the ones he offended.

I’m convinced he’s really trying to get us to see something. And I’m not convinced he’s necessarily trying to get us to think what he thinks.

I believe he’s trying to get us to think how he thinks. I believe he's trying to get us to get that we ALL go through things.

That’s not easy, but The Closer takes a really good shot at it.

S**thouse is a MUST watch for parents with college age kids

I watched a terrific movie called S**those yesterday.  If you have kids in college like my daughter or if you like well written scripts about the nuances of relationships both intimate and with family, this one delivers.

The plot is an awkward young man who is a Freshman at college trying to live.  He comes from a super close family who isn’t finding his way socially or emotionally.  

He ends up taking an evening journey with his sophomore RA that is connecting and rich. 

Without giving away too much about it, literally the next morning as feelings arise, the relationship takes a hard, cold turn.  He goes from finally starting to feel into his college experience back into the awkward, lost young man.

I’ve never heard of or seen either of the main characters in a movie.  Cooper Raif (who also wrote and directed it) plays Alex and Dylan Gelula plays Maggie the sophomore RA.

Part of their journey that night has a bit of Garden State plotline to it, but it strings way more naturally into the story.

Here’s the deal.  If you have a kid in college like I do, the portrayal of the nervousness and confusion of the college experience is spectacular.

In particular, the two characters have different parental contexts BOTH of which have complications.  Alex comes from a family that he is TOO connected to, also known as enmeshment.  Maggie comes from a home that included a father who all but abandoned her post divorce.

The way the script handles the implications of unaddressed wounds from both relationships is deeply moving.  There’s a climactic scene between Alex and his family that had me in tears.  It touches on that jumping off point into life for a young person yearning to become his own person while scared beyond belief of what that looks like.

There’s an end scene where you see that he’s become that man and is about to enter an intimate relationship in a way that’s adult.  He states his desires and needs in a way that filled my heart.

Maggie’s character has a plotline that includes a very frank look at sex in a way that is provocative and very well done.

The movie also addresses social media briefly but VERY effectively from different perspectives.

I yearn for more and more movies that have depth to help me see the same issues from different perspectives.  It’s my desire to see more Ordinary People type movies.

Granted the film sensationalizes certain plotlines but it does so in service of presenting certain points of view that are SO important to discuss.

At some point I may take the leap and really try to write a story if for nothing else with the hope that a work that I create can impact me in the way this one impacted me.