Bad Vegan: Frame, Fraud, Fugitives on Netflix is absolutely stunning.
It’s a 4 episode real life re-telling of the story of one time celebrity vegan chef and entrepreneur Sarma Menlngailis rise and subsequent brutal psychological fall with her husband Anthony Strangis.
It’s nothing short of gripping to experience a virtual front frow look into a man working a hustle and imposing psychological abuse on a woman.
I won’t give too much of the plot because there are some genuinely breathtaking real life plot twists.
The contextual story telling of her former employees and family members put a light on the helplessness and hopelessness when someone is embroiled in a web of lies and deceit with a person who all but has complete control of her.
And it's undeniable she did MAJOR damage to a number of people in her life financially and beyond.
Seeing how these people in her lives at times behaved healthy by letting go and/or saying no is really powerful given how hard it is/was. There is a homeless man in it who is spectacular.
She stepped into the relationship as an adult who admittedly has an attraction for people who are unusual and Strangis is beyond that. His manipulation reminds me of the way frogs are boiled.
This man got her comfortable with a certain level of warmth and then just slightly increased things as time went by to the point at which she didn’t know she was being nearly killed.
I like watching shows where there is a range of feelings about the person at times being on her side at times recognizing she was an adult and making choices early on.
Admittedly, it feels a little Springer-ish to be so captivated by it and I know watching it by mid episode 3 I wanted it to be over because how all encompassing it was becoming. Add to that the desire to "fix" her.
It was interesting that she read the book Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas when she was in junior high because the whole show felt like a Hunter S. Thompson dark adventure.
It’s curious to me that Netflix put both this and Tinder Swindler out because they have a lot of similarities.
At the end of the series I have somehow have a searing hatred and some level of compassion for Strangis in that he was clearly dangerous and psychologically abusive (and probably still is) (hatred) and seemingly is an addict (compassion). And it doesn't excuse him not getting help after he does tremendous damage before and to her.
I also somehow feel quite a bit of sympathy for Menlngailis because she was absolutely run over by him. The scenes where she’s asked pointed questions about what she should have done are super real.
And I’m guessing it’s a result of having been asked it a ton of times and it’s just HARD to explain. Interestingly when I heard his manipulations I didn't have the urge to say "JUST GET OUT" as I know it's more complex that that.
Granted they lived a lavish lifestyle at times. Although Menlngailis would have lived that lifestyle had she never met that guy.
I would have liked to hear her give her perspective on what level of accountability she has in it which is at least some it would seem.
The raw part about this is that this couple essentially acted as if they were a cult of two people. One leader (the man) and one follower (the woman).
She’s likeable and compelling and it’s easy to see why she could raise money, she’s smart, passionate and gorgeous (ala Theranos).
I do wonder if friends of mine who have experienced abusive and controlling women would be pretty triggered and traumatized by the recorded conversations.
It just crushing that both the Tinder Swindler and this guy are out free right now and possibly the same or worse (or better I guess….).
I also realized that part of the way these men work is they essentially take a "spamming" mentality until they get one hooked and then take them on the same abusive journey. If the woman isn't hooked, they move on.
In any case, it’s not the most uplifting of series. It's not very redemptive.
In fact it’s allure seems to be in revealing the dark, dark side f our humanity and the wounded side of our emotions that gravitate towards it.
I suppose that may be what makes it so compelling. If you get a chance, give it a chance.
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