Mourning the paucity of randomness
I hunger for randomness. During this pandemic, as physical interactions are way down it’s odd that I often look to social media for it.
It’s odd because by definition we are collectively less likely to be real and vulnerable here. It calls for a level of expression that’s atypical and there’s just a big group of people (gasp!) that don’t come to social media that much.
I’m a part of a bunch of text threads or ongoing text/phone relationships and they miss a big piece of the randomness. The “You crossed my mind” text/dm has impact but not a lot of potency.
While walking today I passed maybe 10 people. This time last year on the same walk I would have passed 75 people.
It’s possible I would have known one of them who I had been thinking about.
It’s possible I would have heard a snippet of their conversation and it related to what I was thinking.
It’s possible I would have been pissed that one of them was taking too loudly on their cell phone while walking and I would have “learned a lesson”.
None of that happens (ok, I still get the “gift” of the walking person talking on their phone as loud as Coach K calling in a play at Cameron Indoor).
It’s even more nuanced.
As I rarely am with anyone other than a very small circle, I don’t get the randomness of conversational connection.
It’s possible I’d be talking to someone at work and they’d mention a trip they just took and I had been there. Or, in my case, I have a group of people who I’m able to bounce some of my nutball thoughts or observations that I have and enjoy a good laugh over it.
It’s possible I’d be on the sidelines with one of my hoops buddies talking about the game last night and we randomly start talking about family or relationships and we strengthen our bond. (YES, my hoops crew can and does get deep….then again we regularly behave like teenagers)
And then it’s even more nuanced.
When I’m in the conversation with any one of the people in my life there’s the randomness of being in front of someone and picking up on a feeling from them. They can be talking about almost anything and just observing the slightest or most overt body position or facial change, communication happens.
I may or may not ask but I do know there’s something up. Even just asking “How are you?” in person can be revealing.
And sometimes I don’t ask about it, I just breathe and listen, the string plays out and the randomness reveals itself into some kind of unexpected order. Meaning the furrowed brow or the shifted weight is explained.
I think more than anything else, I realized today that it’s not exactly the randomness that I notice I miss. It’s the meaning the randomness provides. It’s where randomness becomes synchronicity.
Until that happens again, synchronicity is mostly an album by the Police than life. I just do my best to avoid being the King of Pain.
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