T-M-I from T-I-M

Incredible Star Spangled Banner singing

This video taken which stunned tourists, brought me to tears.  A woman lets loose a version of our national anthem that was spectacular.

I think what I love most about the video is how it starts with the family encouraging her and shows the raw fears that she's having before.  As she begins to sing you see all of those fears slip away and she loses herself in the song and when the man shooting the video says "Watch God do it" and "Let the music speak".

And then to see the stunned gratitude of the people who were nearby and heard it is magnificent.  I'm putting this up with Marvin Gaye's in my top 5.  I'm feeling pretty full of national pride and love this wonderful woman's courage.

 

Parenting and The Inner Game of Tennis

I'm reading The Inner Game of Tennis (although I haven't played tennis in years!).  I love the way the author talks about a different way of teaching that is less instructional and more observational.

I'm noticing how much harder it is to notice, without judgment, how I parent. Sometimes when I'm talking to my daughter about something important I get lost.

There are the core emotions that are arising in the discussion for me, which quite possibly have nothing to do with her. There is the ongoing "Am I doing it right?" "No! don't say that" followed sometimes by "Why didn't I say that? You suck as a parent!" dialog (well not really a dialog because it's me with myself). There is the mind that is immediately projecting into what this one conversation might mean for the future.

I'm not totally present in the conversation and when I try to look back on the conversation that real time performance evaluation in the context of an emotional exchange hinders my ability to observe the conversation to bring awareness.

I'm certain that my recollection of the conversation is different than what actually happened. Perhaps a great start is observing this entire dynamic with as little judgement as possible.

I care about the US AND the rest of the world

Can we hold two equal truths?

In America have people dying in the streets, terrible schools, a horrible health care system and a still stacked racist justice system.

The rest of the world lives in way more poverty, disease and danger. 

We have a moral obligation to be part of the solution of both.

I am noticing anger arising when I voice my concern for the state of our country because I’m labeled callous and heartless.  Here are two realities:

The most pressing things that need addressing in the US make almost no difference in my life because I’m faced with almost none of them.

And if you look at Chicago’s murder rate or any inner city school or the way women are treated or the racist justice system and on and on it’s evident that we as a country have SUCH a long way to go on these issues.

It comes off as incredibly self-righteous to claim that the mentality of attending to US issues (particularly for our poorest and most discriminated against) is troubling or alarming because you’ve jumped to the conclusion I don’t care about the rest of the world.

We don’t shirk our global responsibility by holding the local and global imperatives with equal importance. 

Harambe and the child

It astonishes me how much energy is being put into the zoo incident, so...I decided to put some energy into myself:

First, if the life choice is between gorilla and child, I choose child. It sucks on so many levels that the choice had to be made and if it were my 4 year old daughter the choice would be straightforward.

Years ago I was matter of fact that I would shoot a poacher… Until I went to Africa and saw the abject poverty children live in and the choice between the starving child and a dead elephant is not so simple.

Second, it’s hasty to crucify the mother for negligence OR absolve her for making an understandable mistake. We’ll never get it, but we need the real account from the mom of what happened.

If there was sustained perhaps irresponsible inattentiveness to her son, it would require incredible courage to admit it and the attacks would be even more relentless. Admittedly, I was and to a certain extent still am (without the whole story) in the camp of the inattentive camp.

And I'm not sure I would have the inner strength to admit it, particularly given that I don't think she owes any of us an explanation (even if it turned out to be a cautionary tale for parents that would help).

Third, I think it’s a great sign that so many of us care about the lives of animals. Even given my choice above, I am sad that this gorilla is dead.

Fourth, I loved the zoo growing up and I have mixed feelings best about them now. As a kid, seeing a live gorilla was an eye widening experience that was a big part of how I’ve become empathetic to animals.

However having seen lions, elephants, monkeys in the wild and now seeing them stripped of their natural instincts at a minimum it’s difficult to justify the educational benefit (much less the teasing and entertainment aspect of their presence).

How do we teach our children that animals other than cats and dogs aren’t just pictures and videos?

I realize patience and the level of courage I'm asking for to get the full story isn't possible and it would be nice.

The life of Tim

I live an unusual life.  Or maybe it's usual and I just notice the unusual.  Here are two examples:

From the YMCA:  I was about to leave the gym after wailing on my pecs and lats and a friend who is like 6' 5" giant of a man came walking by. I pulled off my headphones to chat with him.

After about 45 seconds I realized I left my music on loud enough that he could hear the song playing...Mmm Bop by Hanson. Shortly thereafter, a look shot across his face, lasting for about 2 seconds.

It was that uncomfortable realization that he knew what was playing on my headphones but neither of us were spiritually advanced enough to address the truth. After a few discombobulated moments, I did one of those awkward put my fist out to get pounds and he put his open palm up for a high five.

I palmed his fist and we both exited the conversation with a sure to be unspoken secret that he knows I listen to Hanson while working out and I know he knows.

From the Bus:  I sat next to someone on the bus who took up about a seat and a half. I didn't realize it until I sat down.

The net result was I was side riding with one butt cheek gripping to the seat for dear life. The net result: The seated butt cheek started to cramp and the unseated butt cheek fell asleep.

However...I was too co-dependent to get up because I didn't want to make the person next to me feel bad (there were other seats open).

So, in the interest of not hurting someone's feelings I got off the bus and for five minutes walked around like a combination of JJ from Good Times and John Cleese from the Ministry of Silly Walks.

Thank you God for giving me the life I've got.  #timlife