T-M-I from T-I-M

Riddle me this....

What's:

1. More powerful than God
2. More evil than the devil
3. Rich people want it
4. Poor people have it
5. If you eat it you will die?

If you know the answer because you've read it before, please hold back.  If you want to legitimately guess, go for it!

What I am is not who I am

I love how frisky and playful my mind can be.  What an interesting question to ponder:  Who am I?  It's interesting to me first and foremost because it is a condition trying to identify itself.  Or put differently my mind is the only thing in the world that could come up with such a time consuming and ultimately worthless question to try to answer.

It's been said I think therefore I am, I couldn't agree more.  Thought creates the I that is a separate self from you and everyone else.

In this life I'm a father, professional, in recovery, white, male, funny, good dancer, MBA, CPA and on and on and on.

You know what that will mean in 100 years?  Nothing.  It means absolutely nothing.  But it sure gives my mind a hunk-a, hunk-a burning stuff to think about, plan for, explain, etc.  It even gives my mind a lot to be insecure about, birds to flock together with and other birds to judge because they aren't "like" me.

I'm not suggesting that it's not worthwhile to plan to be a successful professional, a good dancer, a great father, etc.  I take the time to check into this world to plan for it.  I just try not to let my happiness and serenity relate to the goals.  "I'll be happy when...." is a dangerous way to live.  It means I'm unhappy until and when I get there I can guarantee you I will find something new to gravitate towards....we're funny aren't we????

The best I've come up with on who I am is you.  I am that.  I am no different than you.  I am a light, just like you.  It doesn't matter what you've done or are doing, because I am that.  It's equally humbling and empowering. 

Ultimately, for me, we're all children of God that's the closest I'm coming to any type of identification.  Admittedly, I do not always live this.  And my actions are FAR more important than my words.  I'm going to make mistakes and it's ok.

But make no mistake about this, we can either laugh now about how silly it is that we invest so much of our energy into what we are instead of who we are in this or the next life and/or in eternity because when it comes to eternity, what I am makes no difference whatsoever, ask God, He'll tell you the same.

Perception is Reality but is Reality Truth?

I've been pondering the saying that perception is reality.  It's powerful in that it directly impacts the experience I have in life.  It's also powerful in that it can be "used".

Essentially, I can do tons of things to manage a perception and create your reality of me.  I can be on time to meetings, call you back, talk/write about things of love, etc., etc. and create this commonly held perception of who I am but it may not be my truth, even if I tell you it is.

I'm beginning to believe that the wider the gap between perception and truth, the more unbearable life becomes.  I think in many ways the whole perception is reality thing ends up with lots of us being essentially fearful and dishonest. 

At the same time, I do understand that it is far more powerful to act my way into right thinking rather than think my way into right acting.  So, acting a perception I suppose helps.

But in the end, remember this.  Truth is not confusing.  God is either evertything or nothing.  In that light perception and reality mean nothing because your truth will always be love.

My new job at Homestead Technologies

This week I started a new job as controller of Homestead Technologies and I'm so grateful.  I'm grateful most of all that the company is one of the very few that I've ever encountered whose stated values are actually operationalized.

One of the many reasons I wanted to work here was because the culture seemed a good fit for me.  We actually respect employees as human beings.  We encourage development inside and outside of work. 

When I started the interview process I told Kristina, who I was interviewing with, that I have basically one rule:  I think you can be very, very successful and not be a jerk.  I don't like to work with jerks.

Turns out its something that our CEO, Justin Kitch actually states publicly.  AND operationalizes...how cool is that?

One other unusual hook.  When I came to the company for my first face to face interview I noticed that Kermit the Frog was sitting in one conference room and in another I went to, one of the two old dudes who heckled the Muppet Show during it was sitting in another.

Turns out that when Justin grew up it was the only show he was allowed to watch.  He actually asked me in an interview to name 9 muppets.  I could name 7....how about you?

Even though I didn't make it, I still made it and I'm grateful.  We're looking for more help so if you want to work at a super cool place that includes no idiots and no jerks as a rule let me know I'd be happy to refer you in....oh I do get a referral bonus if you join but even if I didn't I would still encourage you to join.

Why don't we get things started???

My rebirth

Not everyone gets the blessings and grace of God to experience a rebirth.  After several months of looking at my life and my self honestly I feel as if I'm reborn. 

Probably the most important thing of all of it is that I live with an understanding of whose in charge, God not me.  My self-will has confused me for a long time.  To a certain extent it makes me laugh.  How funny is it that I thought I knew what was best for me?  Even more funny, how abut if I KNEW I knew what was best for you too??

I've found a serenity that is nothing short of miraculous today.  And it's a daily thing, in fact it's a moment to moment thing.  I love the perfection of the way things are revealed to me in my life.  And I laugh when I think about how long it's been that I thought I should be the one doing the revealing.

After several months of soul searching, I've come to the following realizations:

1. My  goal in life is to give back and be of service.  For a long time my goal has been to bring more love into the world.  In some ways it's the same.  But in one fundamental way it differs.  This goal is founded in action and is clear to me.  Bringing more love into the world felt great but was hard to enact.  This way it's clear AND I'll bring more love into the world.
2. I prefer to be happy rather than right.  I've learned quite clearly that much of my heartache over the course of my life has been digging in with the illusory certainty that I'm right.  It doesn't mean I won't have my opinions and state them.  But I won't sweat whether you agree with them or not and I will listen to your point of view.
3. I look for similarities rather than differences.  One of the biggest stumbling blocks for me in life has been looking for differences and then focusing on them.  It's a great way to suffer and a wonderful path from compassion.
4. Honesty is the best policy.  After years of confusion on this one, it feels great to not only say that but live it.
5. I love you.  What you think of me is none of my business unless you want to make it mine.  If you love me, it's a plus.  If you don't , it won't change the fact that I love you.  And love, to me is action which means I will be of service to you.  No need to join hands and sing kumbaya (unless of course you want to!) all I need to do is be of service to you.
6. Everything and everyone I am blessed with in life is due to God.  It's that simple for me.  I'm not pushing God on you.  I'm not even suggesting your God is mine if you have one (or a higher power, whatever you want to call it).  I'm just suggesting that I humbly give credit to my higher power for, well, everything.  My deal now is to pray to the God of my understanding to remove my ego to best do His will and be of service to you.  I do that best, NOW...in this moment.

There are a few other things, but for now those are most present to me.  The last few months have been an absolute miracle in my life and I appreciate everyone who has been there for me to support me and talk to me.

God bless you!

Love,

Tim

Book Review: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

Books always find themselves in my life at the right time.  Now it doesn't mean that I'm going to pay attention to them and that may be part of the lesson.  For years I have buzzed through a number of spiritual books as I seemed to have reached for something that I desperately wanted.

I've always been reaching for God. 

Over the past few months I've been blessed to have found God again.  The funny thing about it is that he's never left.

Ever wonder why God's so hard to find?  It's because he ain't lost.

And if I feel at a distance from God, like I've moved away, make no mistake about it, I'm the one whose moved.

I bathed in God reading this book.

The Power of Now has set into my soul as if it were wet cement.  Every word resonated with me.  Every suggestion was clear.  Every exercise manifested peace.

The book is fairly simple in that it suggests that the mind distracts me from the Now.  It thrives...no survives then thrives by keeping me in the past and future, distracting me from the present.  A friend of mine said if I have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, I'm crapping all over the present....fair enough.

That thought jail is what perpetuates misery, anger, misunderstanding, and on and on, all brought to you by the good folks at Ego Inc. (a wholly owned subsidiary of Life is Suffering LLC).

Mr. Tolle is a brilliant writer in that it's understandable and profound because it's simple.  Reading about staying present made me present which made the experience all that more magical.  The now is serenity, eternity and joy.  Most importantly it transcends what he calls psychological time. 

Basically, I've lived a lot of my life thinking I'll be ok when....  (I get the job, the girl, the trip, the drink, whatever).  What's so dangerous about that is that it creates a never ending cycle of living for the next thing that will satisfy me only for a fleeting moment until I want more.  And that satisfaction will never lead to joy.  It may lead to happiness, which of course has a dualistic opposiste in sadness meaning it's impermanent.

I LOVED how he discussed the ideas of space and silence being presence and both of those things are within.  I've never quite understood how it's a gateway to the eternal, but I do now.  We are space and silence at our essence.

I strongly recommend this book regardless of where you are in life, because if just one person can take the magical ride I did into expanded consciousness through it, it's worth the blog post.

Go to the Now....it rocks!

One quick question on Saddam Hussein

In deciding what should have befallen Saddam Hussein, riddle me this:

What would Jesus have done?

I'm great, my laptop's....ok

Just a quick post.  My laptop is on the haywire which has limited my posting ability.

Happy New Year to everyone!  In case you were wondering I'm feeling better than I ever have before in my whole life.

Love,

Tim