T-M-I from T-I-M

When do limitless possibilities become limited?

I was wondering today about the power of believing in "infinite possibilities" in life.  I see my daughter and see, somewhat, the power of living that way.  Her imagination is so powerful and I think she doesn't even know it. 

So, is it likely that as she grows up that her imagination and ability to harness, or even access, it in the context of possibilities will simply diminish?  I'm the first to admit that in my own life accessing imagination to power infinite possibilities is very challenging.  I'm often in a situation where I almost KNOW how it's going to turn out.  Or perhaps I have an idea of 3 possible outcomes.

Then I take that back into my life, even spiritually, and I've lost that powerful imagination and feel like it's narrowing my vision of life.  I feel that when that narrowing occurs, I'm more likely to be unhappy.  Even if I take the path of "intending" a positive outcome.

Will it keep happening as I get older?  Is it possible for me to open up much further in the future or even right now?  I don't know anyone who is in their 60's or 70's who sees life as infinite possibilities (sure the Wayne Dyers and Deepak Chopras of the world claim they have it, but I don't know them).

I want to step into that world, but it's so unfamiliar to me.

Book Review: How to Know God

How to Know God by Deepak Chopra is mostly an analysis of the stages of a relationship with what he calls God (which is not tied to a religious context). If you're a newbie to spirituality, ignore it.  If you are well versed in it read it if you feel this resonates with you but it's not a must read.

However, there are some useful models of thinking in the book He begins by stating there are three levels of existence:

1. Material World (insert Police joke here...hiyo!!):  Living in the world as we know it bound by time, known by the senses.
2. Quantum Domain:  The world of the mind where creation manifests.
3. Virtual Domain:  Spirit where existence is unbounded in total silence (insert Steve Buscemi from Fargo joke here...hiyo!!)

He then goes on to describe how we can progress and touch the worlds beyond the material world.  He gives a very clear seven stage description of God helping us in the progress from 1-3.  In the stages we progress from thinking of God as a vengeful protector to becoming one with God.

The book is at times overwhelming (I think it could have been cut by a 1/3 and still been effective) but I can see how it will become a book worth referring back to as it describes behavior that signals where I am with my relationship with God.

And in the darkness, that relationship (as far afield as I may be) is the light that I rely on.

End Hopeless Relationships

I read this simple and powerful statement today and it feels worth sharing.  When I first heard it sounded like "giving up".  It also brought up some painful memories where people I've known in life may have done that with me. 

Yes, it's not hard to see that I'm hard on myself.

But looking at it more closely, it has some real merit.  At the Junto a few months ago, we talked about the idea of firing a friend.  I think the step before that is figuring out that the relationship is hopeless.

The clarity of this statement rang right through my soul as I considered a few relationships in my life right now that are hopeless.  (One of which has already ended.)

My definition of hopeless is that it continually brings negativity and conflict in my life in one way or another regardless of how skilled I am inside of the relationship.  It's about getting MY needs met in a relationship on a far more regular basis than.....rarely or never.

I understand that loving kindness is important but inner peace trumps that.  But it's always the question of when I should end it.

It gets trickier when it involves family (a brother or sister for example). 

I can also see where this approach would be almost impossible, with my daughter.  It's nowhere near hopeless but what would I do if at some point in the future it felt like it was? 

Loving myself

I was at a meeting the other day of 20 or so professionals talking about friendship.  The conversation was interesting at times, confusing at others.

At one point, someone asked "Who doesn't love themselves?".  My hand shot almost unconsciously, then I noticed that mine was the only hand up.

Apparently I was seated with 19 people who loved themselves.  Does that seem possible?  I suppose everyone has a different definition of love so maybe they do love themselves by their standards.  But from what I heard during the conversation there were plenty of people who had things they didn't like about themselves.

I think I'm a bit of a dreamer because if I loved myself I would fly around the world in a bubble like Glinda the Good Witch of the North.  I'm also not even quite sure that if I loved myself I would know it.  I just know when I don't.

Maybe someday I won't be so aware that I don't then I will....

My Article on Soulscode on Spirituality

A friend of mine works with a company called soulscode which shares writing and ideas on spirituality.  She asked me to contribute, which I did, writing about the confusing and almost silly language of spirituality.

It was a blast to write.  Check it out here

Does what you do or have define who you are?

I'm wondering today to what extent I define myself by what I do or have.  We've backed into the question with the awful economic times.  It feels to a certain extent like a slide down Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

I wonder how precipitous of a fall it is for some people.  For example do rich people naturally move from safety to Love/Belonging or do they mostly become more safe and covet what other safe or rich people have.

I wonder, also given that Security is a pre-requisite for self esteem, does that mean that if you lose your job or property that you can't reach the Loving/Belonging stage.  That would almost suggest that homeless people can't make it up the pyramid.

Regardless, I can attest that serious threats to safety for me have challenged my ability to feel at peace and loving.  But aren't we supposed to give off what we want to attract?

Oh yeah, one last question, what's excretion got to do on the path to self-actualization?  I suppose if you can't poop you can't love.

Am I growing?

I dig the services that let you send an email to yourself in the future (I use the service called FutureMe).  It's fascinating for me because it signals whether I'm growing or not (btw, a lot of the stuff still feels the same...oy!) 

This is the email that I sent myself just about 1 year ago today:

Dear FutureMe,

Today you are wondering if you will ever have a moment in the moment.  You spend so much time in the past and the future.

Today you are wondering how important you are in your daughter's life because her mom is dating someone new.  How much will she really need you?  Did I mention that I spend time in the future?

Peace and love is what I desire.  I desire it so deeply it hurts.

Last night I wrote about how it would be if I actually lived live knowing that everything really was going to be all right.

I'm looking for my soul but it's my soul that's looking and a condition searching will never find itself. 

I read my note from a few months ago and it was the same...the job, the girl, the fit, etc.

When will I realize that it's not that stuff that will make me happy?

I need and yearn for something deeper and more connecting.  I know it, it's familiar, I've felt it.  I can't stand when people tell me to stop trying, it makes me try even harder.

I've heard the same messages over and over.  And yet I still pretty much live life the same way.  Will you be any different when you read this?

Ask yourself that question.  What means the most to you?

And be honest.  Right now I don't even think I know.  My world is still spun.

I hope you have a great day today.

Love yourself and everything else will work out.

presentme

Being with emotions

In the past few months, I've realized how unskilled I am "being with" emotions.  One of the many complex things about being a parent of a beautiful young daughter is that when the emotions come (and they are usually tears) my very first learned action is to try to fix whatever's up.  I had a very similar experience growing up, an understandable byproduct of growing up with 4 brothers as challenging as me.

I'm observing (perhaps for the first time) how it spills into personal relationships. 

First, when friends tell me that they are making difficult decisions or are going through tough times, my reaction tends to be "what can I do" rather than "how does it feel".  It's certainly a typical male trait, so I'm not alone, but it doesn't make it easier to live with.

The second, and perhaps more troubling part, is that when I'm going through tough times, I have difficulty letting friends and family in to be with me through it.  I almost put pressure on myself to get through it.  And when I'm talking to friends, I guess I expect them to help me through by either doing something to help or telling me how I might help myself.

I really feel like it's my responsibility to get through it.  And being with my emotions is part of it.  I'm not particularly interested in immediate action that may solve practical issues that aren't set upon a sturdy emotional foundation.

In any case, being with emotions feels unsatisfying and vulnerable.  Talking about feeling that way is a virtual emotional double down because now not only am I feeling what I'm feeling but I'm also feeling what it feels like to be feeling that feeling.  (LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I HAVE OFFICIALLY GONE INTO THE ALAN ALDA VORTEX.)

Perhaps that last sentence helps me clarify how I feel in these times, confused.

Fighting Spiritual Entropy

In the past year or so I've gotten a look or two into what it means to live, regularly at a heightened level of consciousness.  It certainly has its benefits.  I do get a shot at peace and happiness more often, but it comes with a price.  That price is diligence.  It's a responsibility that comes with the territory it seems that requires work.

Because of that, unfortunately I can feel the power of a spiritual entropy of sorts that wants to bring me back down to the levels I've been at previously.  It's not something I'm particularly happy or proud of but it's a reality. 

I'm learning that part of that life at the next level of consciousness requires a heightened awareness of how I lift myself and others up.  The paradox is that while I'm learning that it's part of the deal, it's not something that appears to be easily intellectualized.  I mean if it was as simple as an intellectual exercise then there would be lots of people at higher levels of consciousness.

There seems to be lots of different paths to go (some of which I've taken) to light that path, but I've tried some with mixed results. 

As such, I can feel spiritual entropy manifesting and it's not too comforting.

The capacity of the human spirit

Why do I cry when I watch a movie like We Are Marshall?

For me, it's two-fold:

1. I'm deeply moved by the talents and the skills of the people who create and bring us such beauty.
2. I feel connected to the fact that human beings can do anything.

The individuals who did what they did at Marshall are human beings like all of us.  And when moved by a cause, it really feels like anything is possible.

In times of hyper adrenaline, we can do amazing things physically, things we didn't even know we had in us.  I feel like that unknown power is also available in our spirit and it doesn't even needs stress to manifest.

When I watch a movie like We Are Marshall it's just so clear that ANY of us can do great things.  I'll admit that when I watch it, there's a part of me that is hard on myself for not, in my mind, tapping into that capacity.

I guess that's part of my process.