T-M-I from T-I-M

Zoe melts my heart

Last night Zoe told me about a friend of hers who had written a note to the tooth fairy and got a response.  So she decided to write a note and I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to write her back.

Her note:  "Dear Tooth Fairy, Can I have some fairy dust?  Your friend, Zoe"

I wrote:  "Dear Zoe, I sprinkled it on you last night.  Love, Tooth Fairy"

She looked at the note with such wonder and amazement it nearly brought me to tears.  Apparently a boy at camp the day before had told her that the tooth fairy wasn't real.

I was more than happy to keep her believing.  I told her that what she believes has nothing to do with what someone else believes.  As long as she believes she's real, the Tooth Fairy is real for her.

Needless to say, I will be deeply affected when she finds out the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, etc. but in the meantime I will bathe in the warmth of her sweet, innocent heart.

End Hopeless Relationships

I read this simple and powerful statement today and it feels worth sharing.  When I first heard it sounded like "giving up".  It also brought up some painful memories where people I've known in life may have done that with me. 

Yes, it's not hard to see that I'm hard on myself.

But looking at it more closely, it has some real merit.  At the Junto a few months ago, we talked about the idea of firing a friend.  I think the step before that is figuring out that the relationship is hopeless.

The clarity of this statement rang right through my soul as I considered a few relationships in my life right now that are hopeless.  (One of which has already ended.)

My definition of hopeless is that it continually brings negativity and conflict in my life in one way or another regardless of how skilled I am inside of the relationship.  It's about getting MY needs met in a relationship on a far more regular basis than.....rarely or never.

I understand that loving kindness is important but inner peace trumps that.  But it's always the question of when I should end it.

It gets trickier when it involves family (a brother or sister for example). 

I can also see where this approach would be almost impossible, with my daughter.  It's nowhere near hopeless but what would I do if at some point in the future it felt like it was? 

Why the human being is screwed long term unless.....

I was thinking long and hard about the survival of our humanity.  And it occurred to me that in order to survive, I argue that we should forget about trying to change to many adults.  Focus on building a new mindset in children and let that be the governance.

They do have their disputes (not all that often unless bro/sis).  Ask a group of kids to make up a game with a ball, any game, they'll be playing 2 hours before the adults have come up with the win win situation in Chapter IV of the bargaining.

There's one big hole in the theory.  Who teaches them?  Who is free of the racism the violence the crime? It would of course also be important that the economic system should sustain.

Fact is, I bet they could do it a whole lot quicker and we'd be happier.

Zoe's new family

Recently my former wife remarried.  They also are now expecting a child.  I met her new husband he is terrific.  He loves and cares for Zoe in his own way that I know she loves.  She told me last night that they read a Beverly Cleary book together alternating who reads the pages. 

I can't help thinking about what the new family means to Zoe.  I know that she feels loved but I think she's trying to find her way and her place.  I asked her last night if she tells the new hubby that she loves him and she said yes.  I told her that it's important that she expresses that to him and her mom when she feels it.

So, the next question is how do I fit in?  It goes from the basic like I have always gone to her house to open gifts at Christmas to the complex like how I'll feel when they become a full on 4 person family. 

One thing's for sure, I am more than delighted that my former wife found her new husband.  He's a sweet, caring, interesting, fun man.  I don't feel any remorse, envy or guilt, only happiness.

Yes, I'm supposed to just "let it unfold" but honestly if you know me you know that that is not entirely congruent with who I am.

Zoe strikes yet again

The other night I was hanging out with Zoe and asked her:  "If you could be anyone in the world who would you be?"

She answered without missing a beat:  "Me".

I said "Really that's interesting, why would you choose to be you?"

Again without a beat:  "Because I like being me."

How's that for spiritual presence?  I would love it if that conversation remains the same as long as possible

I've still got quite a bit to learn from that chick.

Dad + Dude = Dade

I've decided to bestow a new moniker upon myself as I'm a single Dad and therefore must maintain some level of his Dude-ness.  I'm a Dade.

Unfortunately, my days of being the serious shake and sex appeal dude of my younger years are behind me when I used to be a modern day John Travolta walking down the street in Saturday Night Fever....

...without the music (at least not audible, sometimes it was in my head)
...and the paint cans
...and the super cool shoes
...and the ultra great hair (I've always had great hair but not ultra great)
...and the dance moves...actually I do have his moves and some that Johnny T. just don' know 'bout

Wow, how's that for revisionist history, I should work for Bush.

No, I'm a Dade and what that means is:

1. I subscribe to Maxim but don't read it
2. I say that I went to "a live show" but it's actually live Barney and Friends (on or off the ice)
3. I often "go grab a bite" but unfortunately most of the time the place has to have curly fries and a word search as a menu
4. I play golf on the weekend but I'm usually putting into a clown's mouth rather than driving into an island green....oh do chicks DIG THE LONG PUTT!!!!
5. I'm up until 9 (pm, instead of am like I used to be)

I could go on and on, but I think you get it:  I'm a Dade, and I'm down with that.

Zoe strikes again: The best good morning EVER!!

My daughter and I went out of town this weekend and had a great time.  Often when we go out of town we end up sleeping in the bed together.  And usually, the bed's just a little tight, but that's ok we get serious snuggle time together.

Anyhow, when we woke up on Sunday, we both opened our eyes at virtually the same time, our noses nearly touching.  My daughter was quick to the draw and got the first words of the day. 

Her words?

"You're the greatest Daddy in the world."

That was her good morning.  She said it so matter of factly, it was downright disarming.

Of course it melted my heart.  I couldn't quite say thanks or really muddle up an otherwise worthwhile response to her.

All I could do was give her a full body hug and silently thank God for beautiful moments like these in my life.

Babies laughing video...God bless the internet!!

How great is the internet that it would produce this to share?  Candidly, it's just a little spooky but that touch of spookiness makes it all the much more beautiful.

A TREMENDOUS Dating Dad post

A friend of mine forwarded me this post from Eric Elkins of whom I am immediately a huge fan.  It's almost spooky the way he articulates navigating through many of the fears and emotions I have around my daughter and my relationship with her mom.

In particular, this was really touching:

Let me make this very clear—I don’t wish I was the one who’d had a baby with Simone’s mom. There’s no residual longing to put our family back together. No, I want a family of my own some day, and seeing the unity in Simone’s other home made me feel hopeless for my own future; as if the possibility of having another baby was just too remote, considering the relationship seesaw I was riding—which happened, by the way, to be powered by my own lack of confidence. It was self-sabotage that grew stronger in an endless feedback cycle—hopelessness begetting confusion begetting more hopelessness.

Zoe doesn't have a new baby sister or brother yet but I can totally relate.  And the relationship seesaw is a ride I know far too well.  I can't exactly describe how it feels to read someone express something so similar to how I'm feeling but at a minimum it is very connecting.

Lemonade Stand Results

Well, the results are officially in and the lemonade stand was a resounding success!  We spent part of Saturday night preparing by making 12 cups of simple syrup and squeezing about 30 lemons (well, truthfully I did most of the squeezing but she did some of them....and then went off and played on her Nintendo DS).

It's amazing how many times I went over and over the possible scenarios in my head.  What if nobody shows up?  What if we made too much?  What if we made too little?  What if the weather sucks?  What if, what if....

Market Demand

When the morning finally arrived, it was spectacular.  A perfectly blue sky and a blazing sun.  We got out there at about 11:30-ish and by about noon we had gone through our entire supply. 

Our timing was perfect as we caught both the lunch crowd heading down the street to eat as well as the family crowd arriving at the ballpark for the little league games.  After selling out we made one more batch of the good stuff and a bit of the country time (which was like neon green compared to the yellow freshly made batch...yikes).

Customer Feedback

Of course, people loved it because she is so cute (how can you NOT stop by and buy a glass of lemonade from a 7 year old girl?).  But interestingly, quite a few people told us that the lemonade was ACTUALLY GOOD!  I guess you have a certain low end quality expectation as a consumer and it appeared that we actually exceeded it. 

We even had one mom come over and buy lemonade from us because her son told her how great it was....now that's viral marketing at its best.

Anecdotal Demographic

One interesting aspect was how many women stopped by.  Dudes tended to breeze by (except for one or two) unless they were accompanied by a chick or two. 

Financials

We sold 53 cups of lemonade at $1.00 each and received an unexpected $12.00 in tips for a total of $65.00.   We spent about $27.00 on materials for a nifty  $38.00 profit (not bad with nearly software margins on a retail play).  It's important to note that we did not incur any salary costs so it was pure profit.

And in the spirit of giving, my daughter donated $5.00 to the Mission Charity at school.  (Now before you nominate her for some type of young person's altruism award, it's important to note that $5.00 is what gets you on "SBTV" at her school where each day the folks who donate $5.00 get featured in a spot on TV...but it's still nice nonetheless).

Conclusion

It was definitely worth the time and effort.  By about 1:00, she was ready to call it a day (30 minutes before our end time!) but she loved it. 

Something tells me she'll remember it for the rest of her life, I know I will!!!!