Warning, this got really strange and silly, really quick.
I've decided that I'm going to start a band with the three individuals on my blogroll and call it the Buena Vista Social Media Club sponsored by Typepad (although they are unaware of that sponsorship).
Jackie Danicki will be the token woman and give credibility to our international appeal (even though she's from the US). She will give us the Sex Pistols flavor of the UK, promoting Anarchy on the Internet (shamefully stealing Anarchy in the UK). She will vehemently oppose any pr firm that may spam the blogosphere as our representation, unless of course they, rightly, admit how myopic they are (word supplied by Tim).
She will win the contest of the most talented and interesting person of the group but claim that she shuns the limiting "male dominated" world of competition. Her big thing on stage will be biting the head off of a PC microphone. Oh, she'll be the drummer and will be known for playing her drum solos with really average cupcakes from SF.
Ben Casnocha will be the token young guy. Of course he'll play bass guitar and will steal the show while trying to remain cool and aloof like many tortured bass players. He will also be the one in the group to play the cowbell ala Will Ferrell.
Ben will be the most articulate of all of us and will draw a huge crowd of Mrs. Robinson like cougars (ouch sorry) at every concert. He will be most well known for trying to acquire Universal Music, Wembley Stadium and several department store chains to successfully cross market us. He will even bust out a bowtie every once in a while, but in an act of defiance will burn it on stage (of course carefully placing it in a bucket of water and then returning it the next day for full credit claiming force majeure).
Chris Yeh will be the token non-white dude. He will play the keyboards as well as the mandolin (which he will burn onstage like Jimi Hendrix....and then carefully place it in a bucket of water and return it the next day for full credit claiming force majeure, which when challenged, he will misspell assuming it came from former Utah coach Rick Majerus). He will be the soft spoken one who is the conscience of the group. He will claim to have been inspired by the greats such as: Men Without Hats (which he will slip at one point and call Men Without Talent), Corey Hart and YoYo Ma (who he believes plays cello in the Stanford marching band).
He will regularly get us all in trouble by deftly pointing out how off we are (both in points of view and tune) and regularly post it on his blog while also posting comments on ours under the pseudonym "Jane, you ignorant slut" which people will mistaken believe is a shot at Jane Pauley. There will be rumors about he and Brittney Spears, Ann Coulter and Barbara Bush but he will be vindicated as a sensitive dude who loves his wives.
Me? I'll be the lead singer and lead guitarist. I will be noticeably tone deaf but widely regarded as a "good guy". My signature song will be a remake of Pick Up the Pieces by the average white band which of course has no lyrics originally but I add a rap to it that is both socially conscious and dynamically politically correct. For example I will curse both Americans and Iraqis on our world wide tour depending on whose in the audience (which I will determine by a series of questions that are distributed beforehand).
I will be known for the midriff shirts that I wear with "Maniac" on it and will roll out leg warmers for a hot dance and will publicly propose to Jennifer Beales, who turns out to be Jennifer Aniston and I don't know the difference because my contact fell out. I resolve creative conflicts in the group by reminding everyone that not only am I right, but that I have god on my side (which will fall on deaf ears because the other three members are atheostics which means they are definitely undecided that there is no God.)
Since we came from the blogosphere when we perform we never really listen to each other and will regularly flash hyperlinks on the jumbotron that we send out during the shows to distract folks about how bad we are. In fact, we will be embarrassed when we hatch a pr plan to invite everyone who comes to the show to wear an ipod and get busted when we are playing air guitars and all mikes are dead but will be forgiven because everyone makes mistakes. We all regularly check our q ratings and Ben at one point starts another company that builds a widget that addresses this need. Every concert, for our encore, we will do a blogroll call where we will rap off rhythm without rhyming and claim that it's real so if you don't get it that's YOUR problem.
Ultimately we will end up on VH1 Behind the Music because Ben becomes addicted to Starbucks and decides that he will redefine what a barista REALLY should be. Jackie will need serious counseling because Tim is always talking about periods. Chris will have a short solo career where he will try to bring back Kiss, but only as a one man band (he will change his facepaint throughout the show and sing classics from folks like Gary Glitter, Bachman Turner Overdrive and Tiffany, of course he'll never cover Kiss songs but will be jailed for stalking Gene Simmons).
Me, I will sink into a narcissistic tailspin and lay in bed all day, fully clothed with my girlfriend who everyone claims broke up the band. I will lay there in a double breasted suit with wingtips and suggest that if people just realized that all that matters is money we'd be way better off. Unfortunately I would be forced to work under Ben, the barista at the Union and Laguna Starbucks.
Finally, we will re-unite as a Spiritual but not religious Unity Church folk band that plays both the county fair circuit regularly (yearning to have it good like Eddie Money) and will all ultimately perish in a freak accident at the Grand Prix in DisneyLand, blamed on the paperazzi (who turns out to be my Mom just hoping to get one good shot of Timmy and his friends).
People will claim to see me frequently at a variety of Safeways and Piggly Wiggly's afterwards and I will obtain a cult following of comprised mostly of a little known sect of Christianity known as the Church of the Immaculate Deduction head by Reverend Jerry Brown.
Boy, it's fun to be silly but I think we may have a real future, anybody interested?
