I'm reading The Inner Game of Tennis (although I haven't played tennis in years!). I love the way the author talks about a different way of teaching that is less instructional and more observational.
I'm noticing how much harder it is to notice, without judgment, how I parent. Sometimes when I'm talking to my daughter about something important I get lost.
There are the core emotions that are arising in the discussion for me, which quite possibly have nothing to do with her. There is the ongoing "Am I doing it right?" "No! don't say that" followed sometimes by "Why didn't I say that? You suck as a parent!" dialog (well not really a dialog because it's me with myself). There is the mind that is immediately projecting into what this one conversation might mean for the future.
I'm not totally present in the conversation and when I try to look back on the conversation that real time performance evaluation in the context of an emotional exchange hinders my ability to observe the conversation to bring awareness.
I'm certain that my recollection of the conversation is different than what actually happened. Perhaps a great start is observing this entire dynamic with as little judgement as possible.