I watched Frozen last night with Zoe. I’ve been listening to the tunes from the movie for the last few weeks in the car with her and the time had come. Just getting the movie to my place took a bit of back room dealing with her much younger sister, Tracy’s daughter, that she would return it next day.
Thank God she did.
First, I love that the main characters in the story are strong women. (Spoiler alert!) And in an awesome twist the ultimate act is two women being powerful as a demonstration of true love, no dude required.
I loved how the movie described what it means to express feelings.
Elsa is troubled by the fact that she can’t express her feelings because if she does she’ll hurt someone with her powers. If she can just keep them down everything will be ok.
Her sister Anna has seemingly no trouble expressing her emotions which was terrific, and she plays the role of showing how expressing a deep emotion (love) can set Elsa free. And the end of the movie, suddenly everything is working a-ok. (And, yes, if you’re wondering, I was crying by the end….)
As we watched the movie, I shared with Zoe how difficult it is to share feelings sometimes because it is possible that it may hurt people but that it’s critical that we do it. And while I love the message, I’m a little troubled that the message is a switch can simply be flipped, but that’s Hollywood I guess.
Now I’m wondering how I go back in with Zoe and talk about the movie and its message about feelings. Zoe is pretty darn good at expressing herself with me, even when it may hurt me. In fact there’s a time not too far away that she’ll express herself BECAUSE she KNOWS it will hurt me. (That’s for another post!)
I’m disappointed in myself that I didn’t open the dialogue last night or this morning (which is an example of how I’m hard on myself as a Dad it’s one of God’s lessons for me to ultimately learn, how to be kind to myself).
It just dawned on me that as important as this movie was for Zoe, it was an equally important reminder and message for me. I’m 45 and I STILL have difficulty expressing vulnerable emotions. And that’s super confronting given my uber-important role in Zoe’s life.
Whether she knows it or not, there are times where I will learn an emotional lesson literally days before it comes up in some way for us in discussion. And, frankly, at times she is my teacher.
For me, showing my daughter how to embrace and express her emotions (of ALL kinds) is one of the top 3 things I’m on this earth to teach her. And it’s one of the scariest parts of the job.