Sunday I got into a nasty car accident. I am physically fine and thank goodness Zoe wasn’t in the car, I was on my way to pick her up.
Sunday night she came over and when she walked in the door, I went out to wave goodbye to her Mom and Zoe said “Oh, fine you don’t want my hug” jokingly. I was a bit taken aback and responded immediately with going in for a hug.
Right away the hug felt different. She put her arms around me and held me tight burying her face into my shoulder (yes she’s that tall!). I simultaneously felt how powerfully she loves me and how scared she would be to lose me.
I went from melting in her arms deeply touched by the power of love that is about as pure as it gets that went down to my feet to a rolling sensation of every muscle in my body expanding to share my power with her that I’m her Dad and everything’s all right.
As a 13 year old, she is black belt level at being able to avoid a hug. (Seriously how do they contort their bodies in the exact way that I can’t get in there??) She also has a swim move that would more than impress any NFL defensive linemen that she can end a hug.
This time none of that happened. Before I saw her I was in full GSD (Get Shit Done) mode, still a little shaken after the accident. I was worrying about the insurance implications or the amount of things I needed to handle, etc. Afterwards, I still had lots to do and honestly would start worrying again.
For that moment all of that disappeared. She couldn’t hide her power or her vulnerability, it was so raw.
In that moment, God reminded me what Zoe is becoming. She’s not becoming a different version of Tim she’s becoming the unique fucking awesome version of Zoe. God also reminded me of what she always has been at her essence, pure love.
I got all of that in one hug.