I read an amazing story this morning that covered how I can help my daughter mature and step into her changing sexuality. I have already have had several discussions about sexuality with my own daughter.
We were listening to a song once that had the word sex in it and she told me it was a "dirty word" so we had the chance to discuss why she felt that way and explore different ways of looking at it. I've talked to her about choices that she'll make regarding sex telling her that she is totally empowered to ask any questions of anyone she's considering having sex with when she's older.
Quite frankly I wobble at times through these discussions, but I probably haven't acknowledged that I'm wobbling. I love how this article suggests simply calling out that I didn't have many of these discussions when I was growing up so it's new to me too in some ways.
I LOVED how she distinguished between:
- The message a beautiful boy gets: "Oh... he's going to be a heartbreaker when he grows up!" which celebrates sexuality
- The message a beautiful girl gets: "Oh, what a beautiful girl! You better lock her away until she's 30!" which celebrates censure
The writer gives 3 really powerful tips for dads like me but the one that hits closest to home is how she needs to feel close to me throughout our lives together. I'm so blessed that as my daugther's body has changed I have not shied away from relating to her in a context that has changed acknowledging the reality of her maturing. She's not always daddy's little girl and that celebrates her body maturity rather than traps it.
And it's a terrific reminder that I need to commit myself to continuously learning how to change my communication with her as she continues to change.