My deepest desire...

I threw out a facebook status that said:  My deepest desire is that everyone (including me) feels loved. 

I am working in SBUX right now facing the window.  I'm going in and out of being gripped about a long time issue that I'm dealing with in my life.  The issue itself is actually quite unimportant.

Anyway, I looked up from my computer and noticed a group of mentally handicapped children/adults walking in a line holding hands 2x2 on the street.  One child was very young.  The 2 or 3 adults monitoring them were both patient and seemingly happy.

Two thoughts came to mind:

1. My problems aren't that big.  Honestly I don't typically feel much out of comparing my suffering to others but this time it hit me.
2. I felt an overpowering sense of wanting, almost aching for them to feel loved.

This happened about 30 minutes ago and this aching feels so real.  I know that each of them is on whatever path God set them on and that it's the way it should be.

That doesn't stop this almost overpowering urge for them to feel loved.  Candidly, this type of thought has sometimes pushed me to some really dark places.  Personalizing wider PERCEIVED suffering is not a happy, happy, joy, joy way to live.

But perhaps widely wishing something is some kind of way to distract myself from the possiblity that it's something I ache for and don't really feel at the depths of my own soul.

I know I have the capacity to feel loved and as humans I doubt that's any different for the people I saw walking by.  And you know what?  In some ways they may actually be happier than most, who knows?

One thing is absolutely true for me:  Everyone deserves love. 

The only answer, the only power that saves any of us is the power of love, and everyone deserves to feel it.

Comments

[twitter.com/chrisyeh]

I think each of us has to decide on our own whether we feel loved.

If the people outside your window seemed happy, I think they felt loved.

The thing is, almost all of us are loved--we just don't always feel that way.