On being human

Admitting to myself that I'm human is a rather interesting experience.  What seems so natural, is, well, confusing.  How often I try to deny that I am....

For example, I've historically been horrible on myself with making mistakes.  But isn't making mistakes part of the gig?  Granted I've put myself in positions before where I was set up to make mistakes.

Take my career to date.  For reasons too complicated to explain I became an accountant.  My resume makes me perfectly qualified to do something that I absolutely hate.  (yes, I said hate...)  So, I would take the jobs, do really well at first and then the mistakes would come and the self imposed beatings would begin.

Actually, regardless of the mistake I'm hard on myself.  You know why?  Because I've been super worried about how other people think about it.

Curiously, I'm pretty easy on my daughter knowing that she makes mistakes either because she doesn't know better or she's just human.  It's ok I tell her we all make mistakes.  Wow, if I could only tell myself the same.

Embracing my humanness certainly connects me at some level to everyone else.  We're all human.  But what if they, like me, are super hard on themselves?  And so far the only person to tell me they aren't was my psychiatrist....makes me wonder.

I can see myself using the excuse that "I'm human" to address a lot of lazy or self-centered behavior.  That doesn't feel authentic.

I'm hoping that the more I embrace the fact that I'm human the more closely I can come to my divinity.  Now that's a proposition worth working towards.

Comments

[Chris Yeh]

I think it's okay to be self-critical as long as you're forgiving and constructive.

I have a very high self-regard. But I also recognize my many character flaws, which include an excessive desire to be liked, moderation to a fault, and a sometimes maddening passivity.

But I don't beat myself up about my flaws. Instead, I try to find ways to live with myself despite those flaws.

[Jackie D]

Tim, my shrink was the one who finally broke it to me that most other people are not nearly as hard on themselves as I am on myself. I found this shocking. But (for reasons too lengthy to get into) I now believe it.