I read this simple and powerful statement today and it feels worth sharing. When I first heard it sounded like "giving up". It also brought up some painful memories where people I've known in life may have done that with me.
Yes, it's not hard to see that I'm hard on myself.
But looking at it more closely, it has some real merit. At the Junto a few months ago, we talked about the idea of firing a friend. I think the step before that is figuring out that the relationship is hopeless.
The clarity of this statement rang right through my soul as I considered a few relationships in my life right now that are hopeless. (One of which has already ended.)
My definition of hopeless is that it continually brings negativity and conflict in my life in one way or another regardless of how skilled I am inside of the relationship. It's about getting MY needs met in a relationship on a far more regular basis than.....rarely or never.
I understand that loving kindness is important but inner peace trumps that. But it's always the question of when I should end it.
It gets trickier when it involves family (a brother or sister for example).
I can also see where this approach would be almost impossible, with my daughter. It's nowhere near hopeless but what would I do if at some point in the future it felt like it was?