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June 23, 2009

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Jackie

If you can find it, I highly recommend Harold Boris's paper entitled "On Hope" in which he discusses the toxicity of hope.

Interestingly, I thought I had given up hope on my mother. I have not seen her for nearly 9 years. I have rejected her calls, deleted her voicemails unheard, deleted her emails unread, and felt very happy when she just stopped trying to reach me. This lasted for about five years.

Then, a few weeks ago, she called me. I let her talk, and she was being so nice. I found myself thinking, "Well, maybe she's changed." But, as I would have expected in a less astonished state of mind, she quickly turned into the mother I remembered all too well. Nasty, nasty stuff. Seeking to destroy. Reminding me that I'll always have to fight against my inherently (in her view) bad nature in order to fool people and create some semblance of a life for myself.

Then I realized I had not really given up hope before then. The call was a valuable reminder that, unless someone wants to change and works to change, they're not going to change. I have to deal with the reality of who she (and others) are, not who I wish they were.

Tim Taylor

JD,

That's powerful, thank you so much for sharing it.

Much Love,

TT

Franziska

I realised that you can make friends at work but you should never tell a friend about an opening for a job at the company you work for if you want to keep that friend. If anything goes wrong for your friend at work you will inevitably be put in the middle and in the worst case lose your friend. I am going through this right now and it sucks.

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