My dying 3 minute speech

I attended today's SV Junto meeting and it was enlightening as usual.  There were a variety of cats with a variety of takes on things.  The "thing" this quarter was dying well.

It was provocative and connecting.  In preparation for it, we were asked to prepare a 3 minute speech on what we would say to whoever we like before we die.

It was an emotional but very rewarding process.  Limiting it to 3 minutes helped focus me on what I included.  Here's the speech:

Mom and Dad I know that you have done your best. I know that you loved me. I love you. Ultimately what we want for ourselves is the same thing we want for each other to feel loved.  In the first four sentences of the last words of my life I’m struck that I’ve used the word love 3 times. I know that it’s all that matters.

You were the parents I chose when I came into this world to learn the lessons I needed to learn and I want to share with you what those lessons were.  Mom, you taught me to stand up for myself. You were a peacemaker for much of your life and you’ve taught me how to be careful not to lose myself.  Dad, you taught me that the only thing that really matters is love. You taught me that I can live that every day AND have a blast doing it.

I have one wish for both of you, move on, let me go and then share with anyone else who will listen how you did it because losing a child I’m sure challenges the very essence of who you are.

Zoe, I love you. I love you more than anyone else I’ve ever known. God has a special request for us right now. God wants us to be happy. For some reason, I’m being called back to God’s loving arms now.  I’m crying because sometimes I cry. But like we’ve talked about, that’s okay and it’s really important to talk about what we think and feel.

I want you to know that I’ve never felt anything other than love for you. I made mistakes from time to time in things that I said or that I did but I was always trying.

You are a miracle, nobody else has ever been or will be like you. It’s like if you look at daisies or sunflowers very carefully, you’ll notice that every one of them is different but they have one thing in common, they are all beautiful.

Seeing and enjoying beauty is what makes you beautiful (remember the other night when you thanked God for the “Joy of beauty”? That’s what I’m talking about).  It’s so important Zoe for you to continue to be the loving, compassionate, caring, silly, fun, honest person that you are.

We’re both a little sad right now and that’s okay. Being sad means we have something great to learn.

I love you so much honey and if there’s anything I want most for you it’s to be there for whoever’s in your life with love and happiness, leaving today’s tears behind.

I want you to cry the tears that you feel like you need to cry and when you’re done (and at some point my darling you will be, you have to be or life just won’t be fun…who wants to cry all the time???) I want you to smile and keep a sharp eye out (like we do when we play the American flag game).

Keep a sharp eye out because God will bring someone into your life who you can help. Someone who you can hug and hold when they are crying because maybe they’re sad and you can listen to them and love them because you’ve made it through tears before as well.

I’m going to be with God, who we both know means one thing: love. I think it's important to know that just like when I'm in God's arms up there, God's here for  you, every day all the time!

Finally, I want to say to you something that I said to you a year or so ago. I’m going to tell you that I love you and I really do but the way that I feel, I think the words I love you fall short. I feel a complete and total devotion and acceptance for you exactly the way that you are because every day you’re a miracle and Zoe, you taught me how to see it.

Comments

[Franziska]

That's a great speech, Tim. For the last couple of days I thought what I would say and if three minutes were enough... and I realised that there wouldn't be enough time in this world for what I have to say so I would end my life with "Take care of yourself, be happy and I love you very much and don't forget I'll be fine wherever I will go from here!"